Introduction, The Last Letter

People pick on the "different" kids, Christians do nothing about it...

Dear reader…

My name is Jason. Today has been the last day I have been pushed around. I cannot handle it anymore. Today is the day I breathe my last breath. I know the pain I am going to leave behind is unthinkable, but the pain I go through everyday. I can’t.

This is a letter to say goodbye. To capture my last seconds still alive. To tell the world how I feel.

Today I was mocked because of my music choice. They didn’t like the way I dressed and the music I listened to. The biggest of the five walked over to me. He gave me a cold smile and took my earphones. As he listened to it his facial expression changed to being kind of mad. He threw the IPod over the floor, shattering it into pieces. I started walking away, saying nothing. They just followed me down the hall, shouting things at me. I didn’t listen.

Today was kind of not so bad. I have been punched in the face while drinking water. “This is our bathroom, get OUT,” they shouted to me. My hair was black and long. I wore all black clothes and listened to metal. I loved reading horrors; I really liked to write all day. I never had friends and the girls never looked at me.

I started doing porn when I was 12. It made me feel good, because they never rejected me. But when I look back, I feel dirty. I feel like a fool, guilty. I hated it. But I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to. I liked it, but hated it.

My family constantly fought. They shouted at each other, and my dad hit me with his fists. He even once burned me with a cigarette. I hated them. I didn’t care about them, because they never loved me. I wanted a real mother and father. I would cry in the night really hard, wanting to feel appreciated and comforted by someone.

I hated God. He was never present in my life. I didn’t know who He was. He didn’t do anything for me. The Christians in school were always so happy. They never even looked at me. F**k them.

The teachers always shouted on me. I did my homework, but they still shouted. They never said “well done”. They never looked at me. They never smiled at me once. No one ever smiled to me.

I went to church once. They threw me out. They didn’t like how I looked. I was a demon to them.

My room smells like old sweat now. I hate it here. Everything seems grey. The light didn’t pierce my windows. The light was scared of me. I was scared about the light.

If only one person smiled at me. Gave me a hug. Said hello to me. Said something nice. Then everything would have been different.

Goodbye mom and dad. Wish you loved me more…

xxx

 

Author's Note

Potential for a book? Not? Help =] Cooment please!

Reviews

[Kat Collins]

It has the potential for a book, but it needs hope. It can't be all dark and gloom and doom. There has to be a reason the reader invests themself in the book. A reader wants something that the character fights for, dreams of, hopes for, and potentially achieves. While I don't believe a book has to be all giggles and smiles and fluff, there does have to be an element of being able to identify with the character. What would you hope to achieve with this character? What's his ultimate purpose? Does he kill himself and the book turns into a discussion about the "afterlife," his experience in heaven or hell, coming back to listen in on or haunt others? Or does he live and find hope, become accepted, changes something about himself for the better, finds that the world isn't all doom and sadness? Lots to think about! But you definitely have the potential ideas.

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I thought this was a good read. I can see it as a book. I can't wait to read on. Thanks for sharing.

[Mary]

the only problem i see is you leave no mystery. its obviously a suicide letter but its also your hook, what your useing to pull a reader into your story and your character lays out for them exactly whats going on without makijng them work for it. you have to make them need to turn the page.

[MindCage]

My god dude where do yu get from? You write and write and write and yet none of it seems to fail in getting amazed at. You are my ideal.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

I liked this heartbreaking intro.

[Pratik]

This is so gripping... Can't wait to read the full story.. My best wishes Jaco.. :)

[Priscilla Sayers]

YES!
I would follow it. I am already seeing growth!

[- - -]

I'm glad I read this, wish I had sooner, can't wait to read the next chapter!

[Kenneth The Poet]

Decent.

[((Teenage_Poet_Loser))]

its a story! =] not based on my life but inspired by my life!

[SR Urie]

Dude,
Why should you give a flying rat's a*s whether other people like the way you dress or the music you listen to? You can't please them all my friend; just please yourself.