Jigsaw

When intoxication and hatred have taken you too far

Today is the day I fell from grace
To learn the meaning of life and heaven
I've gone below any feeling of despair
Lost all my pride, I've stripped myself bare
This solitary glass house of mine
Is nothing more than shards reflecting in the sun
And my pile of rocks has turned to dust
It's hard to face the monster I've become

Inside of me there only lingers traces
Of an inverted reflection of a man
There's a bottomless chasm where my soul used to reside
Excavated ruins where I can run to and hide
What has happened to the many hands that reached
To steady my fall while I repeatedly hurt myself?
And in the end I've packed up all my morals
To hide them with my heart at the back of the shelf

My self-identity is just a crumbling facade
I'm becoming everything but myself
A jigsaw puzzle connected to a ticking bomb
These are the last remaining moments of calm
My sense of reality has grown so numb
And these toothpicks will no longer bear the weight
One fleeting instant away from total collapse
I'm choking on my own wretched bile and easy hate

In the split-seconds of clarity
When my image wasn't distorted in the mirror
I've been able to catch a glimpse
And I have seen everything I most feared
It's true that sinful is as sinful does
And I've lost any semblance of what I was
My trembling hand writes the hardest questions:
If I could build a time machine and take myself back
Would I have done anything different at all?
If I could see how deep the hole was
Would I have attempted to stop the fall?
And I have no answer with my tears

Author's Note

One of few pieces I enjoy in its own perfection. Raw, visceral, and to the point.

Reviews

[Raven Starhawk]

There is a haunting beauty concerning this that I find most appealing. It sings a tale I can surely picture with ease.