Heartless

Heartless

A Poem by Tessa Melendez

An ex of mine had come to this point once
Where someone had hurt him...
And...he'd never let it happen again
I think I've reached this same point
Only, I've been hurt much more than once
Honestly, there are times where I wonder how I lived
My heart's been used as a punching bag
Taking countless kicks and punches again and again
So many taking their turn

Over the years,
Through infinite tears
It was as though I could feel each hit again and again
Feel every purple bruise
Feel every bleeding gash
Every one made in a mad dash
And my words were of no use
Every bruise took its time healing each year
Every bleeding gash slowly healed into an ugly scar
Marring my good and beautiful heart

But now...
Every bruise is gone
Now, the scars line my arms more than my heart
Such a beautiful yet terrifying art
Each new hit causes less pain
Yet some still cause blood to flow
There is never enough damage done

But the pain no longer brings me to tears
Those rivers dried up months ago
Now, when I feel that tears will come
When I feel that pain in my heart
I take the blade to my arms
And nothing but blood flows
And instead of waking with a hollow feeling and dried tear tracks
I find myself with new read stripes

Stripes I wear proudly
Stripes that become beautiful scars
Some tell me to find a new way to let the pain go,
Some tell me they are sorry I am so alone,
They're sorry I must do this,
But it no longer matters
My heart is in tatters
Such words will not fill the hole in my chest
I gave my best

They will never understand why I turn to the blade so fast
They don't understand what it's like to be torn apart
What it's like to hold one's tongue every day
Holding countless words at bay
None of this pain could ever be left in the past
Never to drown fast

Many won't understand how Life and Love have destroyed me
How so many in my life have beaten me down to this point
I've reached this point where all the bullshit just doesn't matter anymore
Where all I have are my music, my blade, and my scars
The pain echoes around in my chest
Barely hurting anymore
Just like how some words don't seem to touch me
I guess I've finally gone cold

© 2017 Tessa Melendez



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Author's Note

Tessa Melendez
Wrote this a little while ago. I know it could probably use some work. Constructive criticism is much welcomed. Just been going through a lot of feels lately....

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Added on November 8, 2016
Last Updated on September 24, 2017

Author

Tessa Melendez
Tessa Melendez

Bear, DE



About
I am 16 years old and have been writing since I was 12 years old. I prefer to write stories that are relatively long because, short stories just don't happen for me. :) I also like doing sci-fi/sup.. more..

Writing
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