The Erosion of a Wednesday

The line cracks as though worms

wriggle through the telephone wires.

It is a Wednesday, a few billion years

from the very day in which the world began,

and you are telling me something

that only the NSA and I can keep a secret, it seems.

You did nothing today. This is the problem.

On this day, a few billion years from when

the world began, you heard her skull split

like the divergence of tectonic plates

straight through a New York alleyway.

You watched the warping faces around you,

the expressions that shifted as mountains do

to raise their eyebrows at their peaks

but they did nothing, too.

You heard the screams

as you walked away,

assuming someone

in the world

would stop

it.

Someone else

would hear it

Someone else would call

through the earthworm cracks,

but they didn't.

This time the crack in the phone

is not from infested wires but from tears.

It is a Wednesday, a few billion years

from the very day in which the world began,

the day bystanders heard the scream

but could not stand to stop

until they found her body,

until the erosion of her body from the pavement

was all that they could offer.

Reviews

[Pól]

brilliant
1 suggestion-"That" instead of "This" 7th line??

[Temerity]

Thanks. :)

[@zeewhykay]

I always fall in love with a piece that stands out, that just isn't another brick in the wall ! And right off the bat, after the first 2 sentences, I was already enthralled, savoring every word that followed each other. And after rereading I'm still impressed by the rhyme schemes, and the alliteration I find here and there, intentional or not, who cares !
Seriously, well done, you have talent. And the good part is.... this is only the first thing I read from you !
Cheers !!

[Temerity]

Thanks, I really appreciate it!

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write...Thank you for sharing...:).............

[Temerity]

Thank you for reading... :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)....................

[A. Amos]

This piece is sharp, smart, intelligent and completely wit...good job.. respect

[Temerity]

Thanks, man, that really means a lot.

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome

[Eric Pudalov]

This is quite powerful (really)! And there's a lot going on here...though I've only read it twice, I can take away some almost political statements about the complacency of the world to violence and the suffering of others.

I'm not sure if it's intended to be satirical or just to make a statement, but I feel this way about much of the suffering I've witnessed as well. I'm the type of person who tries to help, but sometimes feel powerless to do enough.

One of my favorite parts is the repetition of the lines, "It is a Wednesday, a few billion years/from the very day in which the world began." Using it in different contexts conveys a different message in each stanza, and prompts the reader to think.

I hope not to be one of the people who just stops and stares. Thank you for your creation!

[Temerity]

Hi Eric, thanks for this! I think something that truly worries me is that I don't know whether or not I'd stop myself, and to think that I could be so complacent even if I felt concern is something that really worries me about the nature of humans. I also wonder what it says that I wrote this through a person who's only hearing about this complacency, rather than being complacent herself...? Anyway, I really appreciate your comments; it's really encouraging to hear that people are taking the time to think about it.

[Eric Pudalov]

Well, it is hard to say what we would do in that situation...I have stopped to help injured people on the side of the road before, but only because I was the first person to see it happen. I guess you never know how you'll react until you're actually in the situation. It makes me think of the "Kitty Genovese" case, when a woman was being murdered in her apartment, and many people heard it, but no one even called the police! I wasn't entirely sure what incident inspired this, but I feel I understand what you're talking about...I guess the next time something like that happens to you, remember what you wrote!

[Devesh]

I'm crying here.....

"and you are telling me something

that only the NSA and I can keep a secret, it seems."

Laughing my arse off! No Such Agency really can keep a secret! Thanks for sharing! :)