A WALK ON THE BEACH

A short,short story

HE. "I dare not look at you. After all these years together my eyes will tell you everything. You know me better than I know myself... My knees are killing me... What to say ?What do I do? I wish you would say something. Just start talking about anything... I'm not happy anymore. I just want to shout it out so loud the whole world could hear it. Let me walk you to the water. Keep thinking what to say. I'm just not happy with us anymore. I mean,with you. I've met someone else.Someone different. I want a new life but... SHE. " Oh God. My knees.My back. I'm so out of shape walking like this. Oh well we need our little moments together. Especially now. I wish you would try to relax and let me look at you. Maybe now is not a good time to tell you but everything is going to change soon. Not much time babe.Getting weaker everyday. I'm glad you're taking me to the water but you are so distracted. I need your attention... Just breathe. Say what you need to say and don't stop until you explain everything.So thankful. I am so thankful for you... TOGETHER. "I don't know what I would do without you."

Author's Note

Very experimental.Just wanted to try something different.Maybe it will work maybe it won't.But at least I got it out of me

Reviews

[Corset]

wonderful, and yet so sad , I hope they can learn to reconnect, sounds like she's dying and he wont have to worry about breaking her heart for much longer anyway. Once she's gone he'll realize ...they say hindsight is 20/20 especially when its too late.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Well actually I think it works .. as a stream of consciousness. We are always having contra dictionary thoughts going on inside our heads. One minute loving something, next minute hating it. I am not sure, in your story, if he is about to drown his wife, or they are just having an elderly stroll along the beach.(while he has his little fantasies?). Or is your story something even darker? He has got something in his eyes that will tell her everything! And she can't breath? Oh the mystery is tantalising!

[Tara Marie]

I really like his piece. I love how the story is told.

[Angel]

I like this, I love how you tell it from both of their points of view. Good job.

[Poetic License]

This crushed my heart. I'll come back to it again, I promise. I could not offer anything more than the emotional impact of this piece, which is hard hitting and painful.

[RacialRainbow]

I enjoy the writing style , just fantastic! I am a little hazy on the meaning. I have an idea of what I think is means, unless the point is for everyone to conclude their own meaning in contrast to their reality.