artifice

artifice

A Poem by charlie
"

about a barn that leaned a certain way

"


the spectacle of trees in a wood


grown true and sure...they taller stood:


and shadow now the barn house,


    leaning


for roots once good and ever greening


 


 


the frail barn, turned skew-eyed brown;


it’s palings warped and dangling down


in shadow ...


    the weak barn now leans


toward those things it once had been


 


 


dank, the dirt pulls on the wood:


unhinged it hangs; it sighs;


it bangs as if it could


defy the pit made Just for it -


    like blackened boots...and sure to fit


 


 


its bats have flown; the mice moved out


and but a flimsy ghost there shouts


bent and buckled, crippled in meaning


the derelict barn  -  already fallen:


    ...without one Upright intervening




© 2016 charlie


Author's Note

charlie
I wrote this last year: it started out about an old barn and may have ended up as an allegorical fable. But I like old barns - I have three of them on my place. Though the barn in this story...leaned the wrong way, I suppose

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

We have a tendency to always want things brand new, but nothing has more character than an old barn. It fills me with wonder of times past.

I liked the persona you have given this old barn with it missing the feel of new.


Posted 7 Years Ago


charlie

7 Years Ago

I appreciate you taking the time, Cherrie.
Cherrie Palmer

7 Years Ago

It was a great read and I enjoyed it very much
Vivid dark imagery - I can see the barn. Nicely written; good word choices.

Sincerely

Lori Brown Boniciolli


Posted 7 Years Ago


Lori Brown Boniciolli

7 Years Ago

Hi Charlie. You are a seasoned writer, and I am not. I do not know the language of poetry critiqui.. read more
charlie

7 Years Ago

That makes two of us! :) Thanks again, Lori
Lori Brown Boniciolli

7 Years Ago

Very welcome!

Lori
Awesome write Charlie! Your "word paintings" are always vivid and captivating. You are a wordsmith of many varied talents and I always enjoy reading your work. ~Sharon

Posted 7 Years Ago


charlie

7 Years Ago

Hi Sharon. Thank you for saying so. I appreciate that.
Miss Sharon

7 Years Ago

You are so welcome my friend! I never say things do not mean from my heart. ~Sharon
This is such a charming poem Charlie. You gave new life to an old dying barn.
It's true that there's so much beauty in those 'old' things.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Matching Socks

7 Years Ago

Oh, I also meant to ask... What is GMO?
charlie

7 Years Ago

Thanks for reading, ana. I am grateful for your time. GMO stands for Genetically Modified Organism, .. read more
Really a good reflection both on an old leaning barn itself and perhaps, too, as a life leaning toward its end. Whenever I ride as a passenger, I enjoy studying old barns. More and more are neglected these days and I've watched some totally fall as a result of one final strong wind. It's great that your fascination with old barns fueled this wonderful poem. Enjoyed! Sharon

Posted 7 Years Ago


charlie

7 Years Ago

Thanks for your visit, Sharon. I'm somewhat a bit of a barn chaser, myself. My wife and I recycle wh.. read more
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
This is excellent poetry, Charlie! Actually brought a tear to my eye...

Posted 7 Years Ago


charlie

7 Years Ago

Thanks for saying so, lynn. I appreciate your time :)
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
V
I really like the flow, the rhythm of it. Your word choice reads also delicate. Poems like this which create a scenery sort of dark but somehow calm and soothing at the same time are rare and highly regarded by me. A write that takes one's mind on a journey. Great.

Posted 7 Years Ago


charlie

7 Years Ago

I appreciate you taking the time, Vanessa
V

7 Years Ago

Sure I did. You're welcome.
I like barns, old falling down, reminds me of Barn owls as i do like old homesteads dilapidated. Of course old tombstones have character too, black monoliths leaning over , moss covered. A nice entertaining write

Posted 7 Years Ago


charlie

7 Years Ago

Thanks for your time, Andrew
andrew mitchell

7 Years Ago

my pleasure!:)
I like that you used the word derelict. All of the sudden once I read that word the barn had a character to give it life.

Posted 7 Years Ago


charlie

7 Years Ago

Thank you for reading, Q

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe

Compartment 114
Compartment 114
Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Stats

339 Views
9 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on April 8, 2016
Last Updated on April 8, 2016

Author

charlie
charlie

Australia



About
more..

Writing
Shine Shine

A Poem by charlie


We Three We Three

A Poem by charlie