EMPTINESS

For the moments of despair

i stare,
at the mirror.
i can not but,
look into my eyes;
not anymore.
i can smile,
only through means.
i tell myself,
hold on.
i hold to a lie,
build dreams,
engineer happiness,
script content,
forge smiles.
then i fall,
for the truth.
and that truth,
destroys illusion.
into my eyes,
in the mirror,
i stare at;
emptiness again............

Author's Note

Please express your opinion about my poem. I am new and your commentd will really help.

Reviews

[MsJewel]

Your poem is deep and thought provoking...
i hold to a lie,
build dreams,
engineer happiness,
script content,
forge smiles.
I love the entire poem, but these lines spoke to me on a personal level, leaving me much to think about..
Great poetry here!
:) Julie

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Thank you so much for your kind review! It really matters when someone like you say such nice things......thank you again!

[D]

Well, always great looking at how you started out, and where you are now.
now to the write :)

Yes, those days used to be many, and yes...fake smiles (even though many say they actually help) are just bull****. That only hurts more.
Well penned.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

true.......nothing fake can really help........thanks a lot dear friend.......... :) :)

[D]

you're welcome

[Sindu]

The emptiness is palpable.. Like all your poems, it's direct and strong.
Yet simple, almost like the person is tired and quietly asks for support.
Nice one, buddy!

Remove all the comma and semi-colons.. it will take it's form and flow

[Pushkar Prabhat]

thank you so much Sindhuji!!! :) :)

[Linda alexander]

Great write and so deep, cycle of life and the true picture well portrayed, excellent

[Hailey Shay]

Astoundingly Beautiful yet simplistic and straight to the point!
"I tell myself hold on. I hold to a lie, build dreams...."
These lines really resonate within me and your poetic articulation was very successful.

[Nicole Williams]

this is absolutely beautiful,
"then i fall
for the truth
and that truth
destroys illusion"
Your talent is amazing and i cannot wait to read more.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Thank you so much for this generous review and i would love to have your views on my other poems!

[Sami Khalil]

That mirror can reflect alot and tell alot. You have described that state marvelously...:)...............

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Thanks a lot........!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)....................

[Penny]

Very profound write. I really liked it

[Pushkar Prabhat]

Thanks a lot!!

[Penny]

You're welcum.