White Windows

White windows and white ribbons,

In mirrors and doors,

Wishing away the world,

With every pensive chord,

 

That I strummed upon your guitar,

But you were not listening,

Ignored it for the wind,

Too busy with forgetting.

 

I could appear to you in misted glass,

Or line my footsteps through the dirt,

Whisper words to haunt you,

Find the way to heal the hurt,

 

But too much time has passed,

and you've promised to move on,

and everyday I'll see you smile

With her that you've loved all along.

 

So I'll watch you forevermore,

from this forgotten ceiling rafter,

Where I used a single white ribbon

to hang and leave you happily ever after...

Author's Note

wrote it on the spot... what do you think?

Reviews

[Unknown Soldier]

I liked this poem alot, and i also right all my poems on the spot!But i liked yours alot!

[Emily Rose]

I really like this poem's imagery - the white ribbon idea is certainly a good one, simple and pure. Your use of words is well-developed, too; I can sense the longing. You're very good a "showing, not telling," which is a key skill for a blossoming poet.

[Mike Zentz]

Your musical side shines through in your poetry

[L.G. Knight]

Really well done.....on the spot? how can this be! lol it was so well done for on the spot take it from me everything I write is written on the spot and when I writer I always have atleast one line thats too long too many syllables or a word that someone INEVITABLY says seems forced.... I saw none of that here... to me that is a testament to talent.... Great Job!

~Frances~

[Blade & Blood (The ..]

Wow, this is excellent for something written "on the spot". Structurally, the rhyme scheme was great and it seemed very well organized... too well-organized- are you sure this was written on the spot. ;)

When it comes to content, it was certainly something that I've read before, but it was still pretty good nonetheless. I will admit that this other girl took me by a light surprise. I definitely admire the way you build up the storyline to this poem and even end it with a gentle and ironically happy or content tone. With that being said, it was pleasantly balanced.

Great job with this poem! I really enjoyed it. :)

Ironically Yours, Blade and Blood