Farewell

this is the firstshort story i have ever written and it was written in english class, we had to write a story to fit the title.

The dark starless night was quiet.  Disturbed only by the shuffling of sand, and the onslaught of next to nothing waves. Just a few hours earlier the rain seemed as though it would never cease. Now you would not know single drop had fallen from the now black sky. The only rain to fall now fell from the once bright, azure eyes of a tall, proud young man, barely twenty-two. His recently unlined features, now riddled with ridges of pain. The neat crop of hair atop his head, now nothing more than an unkempt mop of russet. Although he was 6foot 7 he felt smaller than that of the grains of sand beneath him.

    

Rhian stared out at the non-existent waves of a once packed beach, in a failed attempt to contemplate his sorrow. Deeper than that of the ocean before him. It had been a long day where time seemed to come to a complete stand still at times. Almost as if to allow the guilt, self pity and pain to worm its way to the bottom of his heart and soul.

   

  For every moment Rhian allowed his troubled mind to wander he was rewarded only by yet another recital of the tragic events of today. Now was no different to the thousand and one other occurrences.

   

   

   “Can you slow down a smidgen, you’re going to get us both killed,” Rhian’s older brother by scarcely a year, Chris, criticized Rhian’s driving once more. Rhian gave a quick glance to the near mirror image of himself sitting sprawled in the front passenger seat of the second hand rusted out Holden commodore. There was two ways to tell these boys apart. Only the flaxen hair and olive eyes distinguished Chris from Rhian.

    

“I’m not even driving over the speed limit. Besides we are going to be late if we slow down a ‘smidgen,’” Rhian retorted, with a near perfect imitation of Chris.

    

“Yeah, and if you don’t learn where the foot brake is I will show you where your hand break is,” Chris muttered on the undertone of his breath. As Rhian heard this last remark he could not help but to allow the amusement to show in his eyes at the empty threat. He and his brother didn’t tend to truly quarrel with one another and so settled for these mock battles which, while enjoyable, never caused a rift between the two young men.

    

A sudden outburst of laughter from Chris brought Rhian back to the present in which he realised his mind had wandered yet again. Tired as he may be, Rhian had agreed to drive both Chris and himself to the city pool. The weather these past few days had been slightly tropical. Rhian was keeping to the back streets as it would make the trip quicker with the elimination of all the traffic that demands a set of lights for every intersection, crossroad or turn off stemming from the main road. Sooner than he would like though, he would have to return to the chaos and rage known as the city street.

    

“Make a left here and we should b able to hook up to the city street. Then it’s just straight on to the end,” Chris said as they passed the last of the down town apartments.

   

  As Rhian turned into the city street all conversation died and was replaced instead by the blare of the radio. The next five minutes of the trip was silent but for the radio and the odd direction spoken by Chris. Rhian parked the car in the parking lot and in no time the two were ready.

    

Chris was slightly more eager to cool down than Rhian and made this apparent with an audible sigh.

    

“You don’t have to wait for me you know. You can go now if you like,” Rhian pointed out blatantly to Chris.

   

  Chris rolled his eyes and stalked away to stand at the edge of the pool with his back to the fence and the corner road behind that. He jumped in the air about to disrupt the cool clean water before him but was beaten by a piercing squeal from the fence.

   

  Rhian stared on uncomprehending as his brother was hit from behind by the large steel gate, riding before a silver 97 Mitsubishi. Time seemed to come to a near stand still as Chris lurched forward, a cry of pain springing from his lips even as he began to ripple the water.

    

Rhian stared there speechless as pandemonium broke out around him, leaving him gaping at the spot where Chris had stood just seconds before. Then, searching the water for any trace of the brother.

   

  It did not take long to follow the crimson red tendrils threatening to take over the water, back to there source. Back to the unmoving form of Chris. Rhian could not move. He could not open his mouth to formulate the words to call for help.

 

    

Even as Rhian stared at the calamity before him, he began to hear a ringing. Rhian’s eyes snapped up to the road. The road that should have been masked by a steel gate that now lay consumed in the pool. As the ringing began to come closer Rhian realised the ringing is a siren and the lights come into focus.

 

 

    

As Rhian watches, the paramedics leap from the vehicle and run to the edge of the pool where a stranger has dragged Chris’s form. Miraculously Chris breaths still. His breaths are laboured and shallow, but still he breathed. There was still hope. Chris was still alive. Suddenly Rhian was at Chris’s side held back by a bystander. By looking at his saturated clothing, probably the one who dragged Chris from the

crimson water.

 

    

“What are you doing to him?! Let me go! Chris! Chris it’s me, Rhian. I’m so sorry. I’m so-“Rhian’s protested sobs where cut short by one paramedic.

    

 “Are you related to him? What did you say his name was? Chris was it? We are going to need you to come with Chris in the back, if you could.” The paramedic was quick and to the point. This was no time to muck around.

    

Even as Rhian made to respond the paramedic was loudly telling Chris “Squeeze my hand Chris. My hand is in your hand. Can you squeeze it for me? Open your eyes for me Chris. Can you hear me at all?” The last question was said more quietly and was said more to himself than asked of Chris.

    

Throughout the whole upheaval the other paramedic had gone about readying the stretcher to transport the elder of the brothers. In less than a few seconds Chris was in the back of the ambulance, the sides piled high with morphine, Penthrane, pain killers, gloves and dressing for wounds, saline for cleaning wounds, defibrillators and other electronic life savers Rhian could only guess the name of. While morphine was pumped into Chris the defibrillator was attached, 4 shocks were delivered before this was removed. Rhian sat beside Chris muttering simple phrases like “You will be fine Chris, you’ll be okay, its all okay,” like a parent trying to reassure a young child everything is fine. Several phrases Rhian said were to reassure him. If Rhian had taken a second to glance at the paramedic treating his brother, he would have realised that the words he muttered were false. Bearing no hope.

    

Upon arriving at the nearest hospital Chris was taken to a room out the back. While Rhian was left in a room that must have been the waiting room, evident by the too white floor, walls and ceiling. The reek of death made stronger by his anxiety. Rhian could not comprehend why Chris would be taken there so slowly until a doctor came to greet him with a solemn look on his face.

    

Many words did not make sense to Rhian but Rhian remained silent throughout the long speech.

    

“Hello Rhian, I’m Doctor Karalry, I’m the doctor who was dealing with your brother. I’m regretful to have to say this but your brother was announced DOA. This means Dead on Arrival. His injuries where extensive, he had suffered what we refer to as periorbital ecchymosis. This means he had fractures to the base of the skull, just below the base of the ear. He also suffered from other head injuries such as subdural haematoma, which is a bleeding in the tissues protecting the brain. This was very severe and there has always been a high mortality rate in this,” the doctor paused several times while listing off the extensive list of injuries, to ask Rhian if he would like a drink or would like him to stop the list. Each time Rhian silently shook his head. No, Rhian needed to know why his brother was dead. So the doctor continued.” He also suffered a flail chest upon impact, this means his rib cage had been separated from the chest wall, this doesn’t help with breathing but he also broke several ribs one of which punctured his lung and broke the skin.” This explained the blood sighted in the pool.

    

Rhian felt he was to blame and so let the doctor list off the remaining injuries thinking all the while about how this could have been different had he done something, had he actually moved from his statue position to aid his only brother. To aid his escape from the claws of death.

    

As if by reading his monotonous thoughts the doctor softly but gravely said, “There is nothing you could have done. A car impacting at 90 km per hour……… I’m sorry but there was nothing that could have been done for him, his injuries where just too extensive and no amount of surgery would have saved him,” Doctor Karalry stood then,” I’m very sorry for your loss,” And then proceeded to leave the waiting room. Leaving Rhian to find his own way out of the waiting room reeking of more of death with every shaking breath he drew. Silent tears he did not even notice, had begun fell from his haggard face.

    

Instead of returning home he walked in the opposite direction, away from the home that the brothers had shared. Away from the house that would never again house the welcoming smile of Chris.

     

 It was dark when he arrived however the beach was deserted. Leaving only Rhian and his guilt to pass the long hours.

He did that. Rhian sat on the beach, watching the minute waves crash on the sand, thinking all the while “I failed him in his hour of need. When he most needed me I froze. I did nothing directly to aid his death and I certainly did nothing to prevent it.”

    

As Rhian stared out at the ocean, easier to cross than his pain and self-pity, he began to realise that his life was much like the waves, crashing upon the sandy ridden shores. The waves could form a beach at the same time destroy another. They could cause much damage, or almost stop altogether like today at the pool.

    

Since the moment Rhian had been told that Chris had been announced DOA, he had refused to let the guilt of the day settle. Mainly because he never took the many chances he had, to say a single word. A word he had wished he would not have had to say for many years to come, yet a word he should have taken the time to say. Something he shall never receive the chance to say to Chris.

    

Just a simple farewell.

 

Reviews

[Farrah Grahm]

Oh my gosh!
See, I was expecting a car crash, but maybe while in the car, on the way, but then when they made it to the pool, i was like, alright, their good. but when it happened at the pool i was like whoa! how different. How unexpected! Great story, i like it. It's so sad though :(
Let's see, I would suggest a quick grammar and spelling check [I'm like the nazi of these]. And then I would suggest cleaning it up in some places, and expanding in others. Read over it and see what you think I really think you have a talent for writing stories, and coming up with plot. I enjoyed this.
Rhian is a good name too. I had to add that. I always worry when I don't use generic names, but I'm glad you had the guts to be different. Once again, great job.