Fly Bye

Riding trains

   Fly bye

 

 Grab the gear, my backpack

 For a boxcar near the tail

 Waiting for the switch track

 Because I’m ready to ride the rail

 

Cross road bells are singing

Faceless drivers hate

On the handrail I’m clinging

Because they have to wait

 

Click, clack, the metal pounds

While all the units roar

Before I lay, my bed roll down

I jam a spike, to secure the door

 

Signal lights are flashing red

Horn blows to approach the end

silence, as we bow our heads

We say good byes, till we ride again

         

                       by  Mauricio Montoya

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Back in the day when I was hopping trains

Reviews

[Elizabeth]

Wow, I really liked this. It has so much rhythm. Typically I don't like rhyme because most writers fail miserably at using it, but this piece definitely didn't. It grabbed my attention right away. I'm a bit of a traveler myself, and this poem was thrilling. ^_^ Great write.

[Adreamer's Bluejay]

I really like this write, the feel of it is amazing, you grabbed the audience's attention instantly and held it til the very end. The voice and word choice were interesting and you conveyed the scene perfectly without having to say all that much at all. Great job.

My only suggestion would be to read the piece out loud to yourself and see if it's just me or if this write feels a little on the choppy side.

[Lorraine]

I can totally relate with this since I go to school riding a train. I like the musical approach of the lines because it gives off a hopping tone to the poem. I find the playfulness fascinating.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Ron]

Tell you what Mauricio this may just be your finest work. Full of latent meanings and quick fire action. Well done and grand English! Keep it going. Montoya in hard times will prove a fertile poetic garden for you old chap!

[Tate Morgan]

LOL I love it

[Shante Payne]

I was there with you on this ride...

[StarryeyedGirl]

i felt my head boppin to this at the beginning , like how it rhyme along. Nice write

[Marie Harrison]

I felt like I was there! Your poem had so much energy and vivid imagery in it. It was a beautiful experience for me Mauricio! Thanks for sharing.

[Morning Star]

Awesome imagery and flow
And wow how your words captured my mind and took me into
An interesting ride awesome rhythm and rhyme !
Brilliant Piece!

[Fran Marie]

An interesting read with a great rhyme and rhythm to it.....Nicely done

[Angel Veselinov]

Another Great Piece felt the strong emotions within thanks for sharing