Beautiful Sunset

Bittersweet farewells. Find the joy in every goodbye.

Beautiful Sunset

 

 

 

A beautiful sunset

What a beautiful sunset

 

Ignore all your sorrows

hold back your tears

your soul may despair

but it's a beautiful sunset

 

do not fear the ends

the pain of farewell

try to take in

this beautiful sunset

 

our life is like earth

going through its seasons

moving on its own terms

to its beautiful sunset

 

although it may seem so

it never happens too soon

things always will end

at their beautiful sunset

 

what a glorious day

so hard to let go

but just try to enjoy

this beautiful sunset

 

sunrise

Author's Note

So this is my second shot at poetry and I think it is, somehow, worse than my first. Regression!
Anyways here it is! have at it! advice is welcome :)

Reviews

[Kevin Horsley]

I did prefer your first poem, but this is not bad.
Repetition of a phrase adds strength to a poem and this is no exception.
Some small spelling errors - last stanza - glorious for example.

Again, flows fairly well. With a little more time the kinks can be ironed out.

[knowman]

I don't think I ever wrote a better poem than my first piece, and I have been writing now for 40 some years, but I do like this write of yours.

[this site better have g..]

"our life is like earth
going through its seasons
moving on its own terms
to its beautiful sunset"

Ohhh...i like this one very much lass...
i luv a positive piece of poetry...
a live for the moment feeling...
and such grand advise in theses days...
our days in the sun...such glorious work here ...
you must have more confidence in your work lass...
i do not comment on work i do not enjoy...
you have a rainbow soul little gypsy..
i must get use to this site so i can delve head first into your work...
i came from All poetry after being ther for almost 5 years...
but with your golden words you have made me think i will stay here...
have no doubt you are an artists...

bless you always,
Liam

[Jasmine]

It is nice. I like the message. You described life quite beautifully.

[joshua deathdealer]

Its not bad by any means. I really liked the second stanza!!

[?]

our life is like earth
going through its seasons
moving on its own terms
to its beautiful sunset

So true, very nice, I really like this one.

[Jess.]

It's not that bad, I actually like it. We all can improve, no matter how good we are. Still, it sends a good message, one I should really listen to. Thanks for sharing.

[...]

"This too shall pass" aspect. The message is there. And there's simplicity in the presentation; I'm not sure if that's a quality, but it has charm. Leave it be, and don't judge your effort so harshly; this poem made me smile.

[Judas Hammer]

nice piece.......the end was very cool...

[Babieegirl]

I like how you put sunrise at the end. Haha. added a nice odd touch to it somehow, for a 2nd shot, it was pretty good. flow nicely and thoroughly. ( ? Does that make sense?! O_O ) whatever, yeah it was very nice. And yes, i do enjoy sunsets. (=

[EMF]

Not bad at all. But your last poem was better. Take a bit of a look at punctuation and grammar. Play around a bit. As an early draft it's good, but with a bit of work and tightening up it could be great.

For example. Stick a full stop at the end of the first and second lines. It gives an instant break and starts things with a bold statement. The rest, well, you'll know where they should go. Read it outloud. See what fits. This is a poem that would benefit from being spoken.

Keep at it