Beautiful Sunset

Beautiful Sunset

A Poem by TJ
"

Bittersweet farewells. Find the joy in every goodbye.

"

Beautiful Sunset

 

 

 

A beautiful sunset

What a beautiful sunset

 

Ignore all your sorrows

hold back your tears

your soul may despair

but it's a beautiful sunset

 

do not fear the ends

the pain of farewell

try to take in

this beautiful sunset

 

our life is like earth

going through its seasons

moving on its own terms

to its beautiful sunset

 

although it may seem so

it never happens too soon

things always will end

at their beautiful sunset

 

what a glorious day

so hard to let go

but just try to enjoy

this beautiful sunset

 

sunrise


© 2011 TJ



Author's Note

TJ
So this is my second shot at poetry and I think it is, somehow, worse than my first. Regression!
Anyways here it is! have at it! advice is welcome :)

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I did prefer your first poem, but this is not bad.
Repetition of a phrase adds strength to a poem and this is no exception.
Some small spelling errors - last stanza - glorious for example.

Again, flows fairly well. With a little more time the kinks can be ironed out.

Posted 7 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I don't think I ever wrote a better poem than my first piece, and I have been writing now for 40 some years, but I do like this write of yours.

Posted 7 Years Ago


"our life is like earth
going through its seasons
moving on its own terms
to its beautiful sunset"

Ohhh...i like this one very much lass...
i luv a positive piece of poetry...
a live for the moment feeling...
and such grand advise in theses days...
our days in the sun...such glorious work here ...
you must have more confidence in your work lass...
i do not comment on work i do not enjoy...
you have a rainbow soul little gypsy..
i must get use to this site so i can delve head first into your work...
i came from All poetry after being ther for almost 5 years...
but with your golden words you have made me think i will stay here...
have no doubt you are an artists...

bless you always,
Liam


Posted 7 Years Ago


It is nice. I like the message. You described life quite beautifully.

Posted 7 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Its not bad by any means. I really liked the second stanza!!

Posted 7 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
?
our life is like earth
going through its seasons
moving on its own terms
to its beautiful sunset

So true, very nice, I really like this one.



Posted 7 Years Ago


It's not that bad, I actually like it. We all can improve, no matter how good we are. Still, it sends a good message, one I should really listen to. Thanks for sharing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
"This too shall pass" aspect. The message is there. And there's simplicity in the presentation; I'm not sure if that's a quality, but it has charm. Leave it be, and don't judge your effort so harshly; this poem made me smile.

Posted 7 Years Ago


nice piece.......the end was very cool...

Posted 7 Years Ago


I like how you put sunrise at the end. Haha. added a nice odd touch to it somehow, for a 2nd shot, it was pretty good. flow nicely and thoroughly. ( ? Does that make sense?! O_O ) whatever, yeah it was very nice. And yes, i do enjoy sunsets. (=

Posted 7 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
EMF
Not bad at all. But your last poem was better. Take a bit of a look at punctuation and grammar. Play around a bit. As an early draft it's good, but with a bit of work and tightening up it could be great.

For example. Stick a full stop at the end of the first and second lines. It gives an instant break and starts things with a bold statement. The rest, well, you'll know where they should go. Read it outloud. See what fits. This is a poem that would benefit from being spoken.

Keep at it

Posted 7 Years Ago



Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

67169 Views
108 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on May 14, 2011
Last Updated on May 15, 2011
Tags: poem, death, hope, life, sunset

Author

TJ
TJ

Virginia Beach, VA



About
My name is TJ and I'm still just your typical aspiring author :) Follow me on twitter @tj_coles And for some short stories in 140 characters or less follow @timmystales more..

Writing
The Last Lie The Last Lie

A Story by TJ


The Last Promise The Last Promise

A Story by TJ



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..