Cavalry

Despair cannot win

Cavalry

 

 

 

I have been beaten

 

I have been abused

 

My heart lies in a million pieces

In a million places

Broken so many times it is no more than a fine powder

Victim to the wind

Victimized

It has always been victimized

 

In my naivety I always thought -- no KNEW-- that things would improve

Knew my life would get better

Knew this darkness would end

 

But how can hope live

How can faith live

How can love live

When they are starved?

These things are our sustenance

But do they not need sustained?

 

Yes

 

They do

 

But you don’t realize it until they’re starving

Or they’ve already starved

 

I tried hard to believe

To hope

To survive

 

They say it’s always darkest before dawn

I believed them

But now I know my night is everlasting

There is no dawn for me

 

My spirit was betrayed

By my own life

And now it lies dying

And I know

There no saving it

 

Through this shroud of darkness

I always had hope

That I would be saved

Brought to the light

But I see the truth now

 

 

 

 

Ain’t no cavalry comin’

Author's Note

Sorry guys, I know I promised I wouldn't subject you to any more of my poetry, but what can I say; I'm a liar! haha
Hope you enjoy this, if not just keep in mind that it's way better than the cheesey piece of crap I ended up with on the first go round of the 'no cavalry' idea
Also, I'm not suicidal or depressed (I'm actually somewhat cheerful ^_^ ) but hopefully by the end of the poem you thought I was. A good writer can sympathize/empathize with walks of lifes that are not our own, so that when our characters are in those walks we can step into their shoes and make it seem authentic. Hopefully I did that here!
Honest opinions as always :)

Reviews

[Valette]

Hey- I love your lies!
This was a great poem =D
I really liked the different emphisis you used on the words- I think you used everything but changing the font size- bold, itallic, color!
The red color really put an emphesis on those words, and the red boldface type you used to open and close was very decisive and difinitive.
You did a great job with the cry-me-a-river theme.
(but there's lots of that to be found)
Next, try someone really young; someone full of life, guileless and exhuberant- this technique would be great to explore a variety of personas! I would love to see more of your poems, promises or no.
Great work!!

[patricia]

Good title thats what attracted me first. I liked no more than a fine powder, and then the imagery of victim to the wind. I liked how you put it that it was your own spirit that betrayed your own life. Thankyou.

[mimi101]

wow this is really good , i loved it!!

[gothicchica]

i loooooooooved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tasha]

I think you did a great job. By the way, I liked the use of color, and the different sized font, it emphasized your point all the more. Fantastic!

[Aiden V]

Never use colored letters in writing. Ever.

Besides that this is on ok piece. You're writing is much better

[Amanda Naomi]

wow!!! this was amazing!!!! i am actually lost for word!! this is so going in my library
and i dindn't see you as suicidle....i saw someone strong but also someone who was being beaten down by life and in the end decided just to wait it out until the end...
very awesome write....there is always too much emo on this site, but this was not one of those peoms!!! this was art!!!

[Short.Nerd]

I love it. thought it was really good. This had a really nice flow. Keep up the good work.

[Samantha ~virginpoet]

Were all starving.

So full of emotion and deep sadness I really liked this

Im glad you were a liar lol this poem is amazing

[hatsXIV]

I always try to give it you straight dude because you're good. This isn't the best thing I've ever seen you write. Your fiction is drastically better than your poetry in my humble and admittedly amateur opinion. One thing I personally don't like is the use of color. Are you an author or a painter? I'd like to see you pick and arrange words with enough power that color feels unnecessary. Let your writing speak for itself.

[Elaenor Aisling]

This is wonderful! Keep up the poetry!