The Last Faberge's The Voynich Manuscript

Another episode to find the missing Faberge Eggs and stop World War III

Was it luck or chance that Tom Hardy never made it to the airport in time to join the Swartz's expedition we will probably never know. But, for Tom  a second chance of solving one of histories greatest mysteries and one of today's most hideous crimes is all it took to get him back to the airport in time. It has been two weeks since Tom first got word of the Professors murder and now Tom was starting to pick up the pieces of just why Professor Swartz and the rest of his expedition was murdered in the foothills of Northern Afghanistan. The ill-fated journey in search of the Nicholas II treasure now sparked a renewed interest to find what the Professor found and bring those responsible for the murder of his whole expedition to justice. 

 

Tom Hardy, the last remaining protégé of Professor Swartz now realized the importance of the Professor's work. With the help of Notre Dame's Archaeology Department's Professor Sue Altworth a linguistics expert and Dr.Harry Cohen, professor of Jewish history will retrace Professor Swartz steps in Afghanistan to find exactly what the professor found and had hoped to find.

 

As they boarded their private jet the excitement of a journey of a lifetime soon turned into a sober realization that they were headed in territory filled with unexpected dangers. Among their belongings was a copy of the Voynich Manuscript where Dr. Altworth soon discovered what the Professor was really looking for. Upon closer inspection of this manuscript from the past two weeks it became known exactly what the Swartz expedition was searching for. And it wasn't just to find the treasure of Nicholas II either. The Yoynich Manuscript now partially deciphered reveled the location of Alexander The Great's tomb.

 

As their jet soared into the heavens Sue turning to one of the pages in the Voynich Manuscript " Look this is what we are looking for. It reads the Tomb of the Great Alexander lies under three hills of ascending heights each one is ten cubits higher than the next. This is what the Professor was searching for.  This Voynich manuscript has been the key all along to finding histories most elusive mystery. The expedition to Northern Afghanistan was just a cover for the real reason why Professor Swartz was actually trying to find."  Tom putting down is glass "The head of the Archaeology Department must have known what the Professor was trying to find for he too deciphered this manuscript but feared if word ever got out would instigate a global treasure hunt that would only prove disastrous." In the end it really did prove disastrous for the Swartz expedition.

 

Little does the Hardy expedition know the dangers that await and what finding the truth behind the murder of Professor Swartz will have on the survival of mankind. It is back in Washington under tight security at Andrews Air Force Base aboard Air Force One that President Smith is meeting with his closet advisors on the latest developments in Saudi Arabia. The recent terrorist attack have brought many Arab nations together where one more attack would send the world into chaos. The disaster in Mecca was stealthy planned, coordinated  and executed has now made it clear that there really is no safe haven.

 

All ready on board Air Force One was the Secretary of State, General Wiscoft and two secret service agents, Lenny and Hugh. As President Smith handed each one a sealed document "People we are on the verge of going to defcon 4. President Boris Sadinski and I now know  that the attack on Mecca came from a sub somewhere in the western Indian Ocean. General I am assigning Lenny and Hugh to your staff. You got to find that sub. When you get to Cairo your Russian counterparts will join you. God speed men." With that the three men left Air Force One and boarded a waiting jet bound for Cairo.

 

As the Hardy expedition landed in Kabul a US armed transport was waiting. Under tight security the three along with five members of US marines headed toward Professors Swartz last location. Turning to face Sue Tom now putting on bullet proof vest  "Just imagine we are on the verge of actually solving one of histories most elusive mysteries. All my life I have been intrigued by Alexander The Great's final resting place and here we are thanks to the Voynich Manuscript which thankfully you managed to decode much of what is written. And, yet there is so much more that needs to be decoded. I wonder how many more mysteries lie just waiting to be solved that this book holds."

Reviews

[Taylor]

This is the first piece of yours that I've read so I'm glad to read the work of someone who is new to me (maybe not new to WritersCafe). I customarily review as I read; I also am committed to give honest reviews which hopefully are constructive and supportive. That's the kind of review I prefer for my own work because that is how I can learn and improve. My hope is that you will feel the same way and that perhaps I can be of some minor assistance to you. Having said that, you know of course that mine is only one reader's opinion and worth exactly that. Use what you can and disregard the rest.

1) Punctuation these days seems to be up to each writer's discretion -- however, I note that you use very little of it and in reading this piece, I think a bit more might be helpful to the reader. I think of punctuation as sort of guide posts for the reader to alert the reader of transitions, parenthetical thoughts, etc. Perhaps a basic review of punctuation might help. I've been encouraged to do that myself and have found it helpful but of course I am by no means perfect or even near perfect in that regard.
2) The first paragraph seems very rushed -- it is important to grip the reader in that first paragraph but it also is critical to leave a lot out so that the reader is curious to move on.
3) There's that old "telling" thing versus "showing." Readers I think like to be shown so that they are respected by the writer and know that they are -- that the writer is confident that the reader will deduce the important things. This story does a lot of "telling" when "showing" in scenes might bring it to life. Why not show Tom Hardy rushing to get to the airport? Also I found it confusing -- the story starts with a question about what might have happened if he had made it to the airport. Then shortly thereafter you speak of a "second chance" and his getting to the airport on time. I suspect that you mean that at some later date he did get to the airport -- to avoid confusion, I think it might be beneficial to specify "a few weeks later" or something to that effect.
4) The second paragraph holds an apparent contradiction as well -- he gets on the private jet and begins to search a document to ascertain what Professor Swartz' mission was -- a few sentences later, the narrator reveals that he had already spent two weeks deciphering the document and has discovered that the mission was to find Alexander The Great's tomb. It may be that is not your intent but that's at least what this casual reader inferred.
Having just completed reading, I can only say that a lot is crammed into this short piece. It feels more like an outline than a story. My guess is that it would be far more powerful if you break it into scenes where people carry on conversations in specific settings -- where the reader sees them, hears them, knows what they look like, how they behave, identifies mannerisms that illustrate their personalities.
You have the skeleton here. I'd love to re-visit when you've put flesh on the bones.