That Wicked Game

An affair that I truly remember

There comes a time in practically every mans life when a simple smile or gesture turns into something more. In a split second an infectious smile catapults one into a realm of reality that is completely unexpected. For me it was the spring of '89 when that infectious smile took me by surprise. Little did I know back then that when this woman held me captive all that summer long while she played a wicked game where I would be the looser in the end. She went away with another and I was left alone yet again. I can still feel the pain of loves depart. But, it was out of a chance meeting those many years ago where her infectious smile caught my eye and pulled at my heart. They say that love can blind a man so as not to see. But, for me I didn't know that a wicked game was about to be played on me. 

Head over heels that love I had.  I thought that I would be her man and love her the best way I can. All through-out that summer I was transported to a different plateau. I never saw it coming that the end would hurt so. As the days became shorter where the nights grew cold and damp I was left with shattered dreams of what should have been. As the emptiness surrounded crises of anguish filled the silence for there was no one around to see the tear drops fall. 

In the years that followed fortunate I was to have aged with dignity and grace even though the gray has turned white. But, I cannot forget the passion that died when smoldering embers kept burning in my heart. Even to this day the what if's keep conscious alive. Though I am content with a life fulfilled I keep wondering. Maybe, I am not supposed to know the reason why that a wicked game was played on me. The shattered dreams of what could have been have stayed with me through the years.

I now look back at the twists of fate where the hand that was dealt moved me along on this path we call life. I have managed to heal the wounds of that broken heart. But, I will never forget the sting of that Autumn's surprise. The sadness was too much to bear. The spell that was used caught me off guard. I never saw it coming the way she ripped my heart apart. All through-out that summer I never for a moment could tell she was playing a wicked game on me. 

They say if something seems too good to be true beware they most probably are too good to be true. Where fools rush in where wise men fear to tread so smitten I was, I did rush in. That infectious smile was all that it took. I never knew she could be that cruel. She read her lines so perfectly and never missed a cue. She played that game so perfectly so that I could not see that wicked game was being played on me. The lesson I learned from that fateful affair taught me to look before I jumped in. For had I opened my eyes I just might have seen I was being played like a fool. But, that was not to be  

Now, after all these years and so many tears I just can't forget what could have been if she hadn't played that wicked game on me. The thoughts are endless. Who knows that had she not played this game on me we could have reached great heights, made a difference, and go on to do wondrous things. But, if I live my life over I just might have learned how to counter when a wicked game is played. But, as I look back I have made peace with the fact that I really didn't lose when that wicked game was played on me.