Bleeding Seeds

Bleeding Hearts Heal In His Hands and In His Time

 

I am taking my heart back.

I didn’t know it would be so hard.

Why did I let down my walls?

I am so caught off guard...

But I am taking back the pieces of my heart.

I take it minute by minute...

Trying not to reflect on you not being in it.

                           Trying to get it back together...

            Trying to make my heart feel better.

                                I am so disconnected from everything.

I hate it when my phone rings.

                                I don’t want to talk about anything

                                With anyone not even you...

              Spiraling down...             

   Out of control...

                     Look at the damage done to my soul...

              I am slowing down now...

                          Crying when no one else is around...

                   Trying to smile over this frown

   Aches...    

          My heart breaks

                        And I take it easy on me...

Everything happens for a reason even catastrophe.

I am not mad at you just so confused

 As to why you chose to be the carrier of my blues?

Why did your tune turn to sadness?

My mind wants to revert to madness...

Insanity wants to be my plea to release me

 From this heart that bleeds.

I don’t think it even beats anymore....

My wings have been clipped I no longer soar

 And thoughts of you tear the floor of my soul.

I am enslaved to Yesterday’s hugs and Memory’s love.

Remember when you promised no pain would come?

Remember when hurting me wasn’t a part of your plan?

You promised to love me. You just wanted to be my man.

You said you loved my heart. Yet, somehow you tore it apart.

Now I am left to find a way

 To not allow hardness to come from this pain.

To still remain open if love should call

 And to not hold back if I should start to fall.

How can I trust the love of man

When it leaves me trapped in quicksand...

Praying to breathe again...

Praying to see again...

Praying to be me again...

Crying in my soul...                     

                   Trying to let go...

I trust the Lord to take control...

No irreparable damage can take hold

Because He is the Healer of my soul.

I will not be afraid to love again

 For Love is an attribute that comes from Him.

Oh, it isn’t about trusting the love of man

 But believing that my life is truly in His hands...

And no pain has come that He doesn’t see

 and even heart ache wont get the best of me..

I don’t need to breathe for His Word breathes in me and on me...

I will not weary in doing good

Even if my kindness is misunderstood or mistook...

Even if I feel overlooked

 For I walk in the Spirit of my Lord

And He loves me more and more

And every hit brings me closer to Him…

I am never with out my Best Friend

And that is why I will love again whole heartedly. ..

Giving every part of me.

For the chains of fear can not bind me

 Because His blood alone makes me free...

 So I take my heart back piece by piece

But praying that through me you came to see

That through my bleeding heart seed is released

 To share the fruit of tree of me

 And that love can be given selflessly

That loves come deserved or not

 That is the beauty of serving our God.

It doesn’t have to be easy

Because the strength I need comes from He not me...

And in order for seed to bring forth birth

 It must die and fall into the earth

 So I step gently minute by minute

 Knowing God’s love for me is in them

When no one else cares or calls...

He sits by my side and we have long talks.

He holds me through it all.

So my heart is back in the Potter’s hand

 To prepare it so I can give it out again.