AWAKE

AWAKE

A Chapter by christine zapanta andes
"

this chapter is dedicated to a friend I barely knew, yet had given me the chance to know the unknowing.

"

PLEASURE - The very thing most people crave to feel; the most satisfying emotion of body and mind; the reason why people work, commit to a relationship, buy, write, sing and everything for the sake of fulfillment.

            Yes, you’re one f them and everyone else’s, for this is an innate feeling of an existing being. This chapter is for a friend who enlightened me to see another angle of life as a seeker of truth and put me to a state of opening a new meaning of my own existence as a living creature.

            “Muy” " as what he calls himself, revealed to me a secret, something that most people might not want to hear yet I wanted to share, because I know there are those like me who will feel the same catharsis- feeling pity and fear, which will mold as a courage of hope within oneself. It goes like this:

            He’s a simple guy, who talk, dress and live just like the other youngsters with wild imagination. His daily journey with reality and life struggle never thrilled him nor crack his nerves to be challenged; until his world of ordinary to and fro slowly shove him into the inclined soul of illegal drugs. Peer pressure might be the cause and probably became the reason for him to experience the most tragic part of his entire life " his own fall. His numb emotions hardened his heart more and more that even his own pain can’t be felt by him. His conscious dreams were totally erased by that pleasure he embraced; the one that became his sole loyal shadow of himself, intoxicating pain, betrayal, agony and the world itself. Those little sips never fail him to give pleasure, people does, so he chose to continue on his way towards that “heavenly-feeling-of-lonesome-jocund;” erasing all what’s left of his dreams, killing trust, denying family; only himself became his world that even his mother’s tears, never stub his heart to stop what he’s doing. He never thought that losing his loved ones that easy can happen for only a few months.

            Life can be so perfect to him without guidance, rules or advice, but undeniably in a man’s journey, the road will always has its turns; and in every twist are stones and holes where you might stumble and get wounded " the time where you need to kneel and look up, look forward to see where the light leads you to.

            The day he wouldn’t forget is the moment his feet brought him in to the church. And that day he remembered how to sit in silence and listen to what the lingering song of phrases talked of, he listened until he was touched within; listened to the sound of his own heartbeats; listened to what his heart truly desires " CHANGE.

            There was a recollection happening during that time and he directly told me:

            “I feel like I was born again, born to be the new me.”

            I know he found something in there. It could be a light to brighten his old ways or maybe an alarm clock to wake him up to the cruel truth he’s into.

            One time, he adopted a beggar he found on the street. During his birthday, he fulfilled that man’s dream " to be a man again " clean, neat and accepted as common people of defined society; the society where that man’s family belong, who became the first to choke him with life’s cruelty.

            Muy did the right thing. I know.

            Now that he was awakened, once more he wanted to make those lost dreams come true. His experience decided him to fight and our worlds met, he told me he wanted to help the street children; he wanted to once again put and bring back the smile on their faces. Indeed, this is a cruel world but we still got hope and I’m going to start developing it. I’m going to change all your burdens to hope even just for a day " he said it all with no words, I’ve seen it between his eyes.

            Sincerity knocked at my heart so I said yes, I’ll help you. I met him for only three days  and my cautious mind tried to tell me that  going with a stranger isn’t a good idea, but I did, for I knew he’ll make a change, a change I’ve never had the courage to do by myself for 20 years. That moment I was so amazed that at this period of time, there’s still someone who could embrace the bitterness of life with an open hand. That same moment I felt ashamed of myself remembering all those chances I’ve got to help others and yet my doubts overruled me to just shut up and let tragedy alone murder these helpless people; losing their dreams and their minds.

            “say my name. I just want to hear you.

            Say my name. so I know it’s true.

            You’re changing me. You’re changing me.

            You showed me how to live.

            So just say, so just say.

            ..i just don’t wanna miss anything…

           

            And as this song ‘awake’ slowly ends, I close my eyes and let a new dream take me away.






© 2016 christine zapanta andes


Author's Note

christine zapanta andes
the title was inspired by the songs of secondhand serenade, since I was listening to 'awake' and 'twist in my story' while writing this chapter.
Enjoy reading :)

My Review

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Reviews

I liked the story. You are quite the storyteller.
“say my name. I just want to hear you.
Say my name. so I know it’s true.
You’re changing me. You’re changing me.
You showed me how to live.
So just say, so just say.
..i just don’t wanna miss anything…"
The above lines. Wonderful. No weakness in the excellent chapter.
Coyote

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 3 Years Ago


well its very real doesn't seem like its fictional but rather a first hand experience with an individual who is need of change.


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Guest

49 Years Ago

Interesting story, keep up the good work!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 4 Years Ago


Guest

49 Years Ago

That's so true! :) I love this twist! It totally makes sense, something I often say to my family is, "This was totally worth the waste of time!" Which I think works perfectly with what you are saying! Of course, everything in moderation, ... but hey, we're still allowed a little fun now and then, are we not? ;)

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 5 Years Ago


Guest

49 Years Ago

Guest

49 Years Ago

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49 Years Ago


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Added on January 2, 2014
Last Updated on February 15, 2016


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christine zapanta andes
christine zapanta andes

chriszandes@gmail.com



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