Lay Down My Sweet

Lay down my sweet,

Under the dirt your body will sleep.

Oh my dear, please do not weep!

Your soul will follow at my feet.

Please my dear, do not cry,

when i show you where we're at your tears will dry.

In a realm where angels fly,

is where you'll go when your body dies.

Reviews

[Leica Fox]

I like it. Its dark and creepy. One thing - I found the line, "when I show you where we're at your tears will dry" to be awkward to read. I had to re-read it to comprehend the message(perhaps it's just me). Consider either revising your word choice, or adding a comma. For instance, "when I show you where we're at, your tears will dry." Or changing this sentence altogether with something like, "please my dear, do not cry. Once we arrive, your tears will dry" Something like that. I think, "where are you at?" Or, "where are we at?" Is actually considered grammatically improper when referring to one's location. Honestly though, I'm far from being a grammar guru. I could be wrong :)

[Hailey Juliet]

I really love the consoling and reassuring voice of this poem. Death is something that frightens most people and your poem represents something to comfort us as we face this fear. Beautiful!

[Tamika]

This is beautiful. Sad, but beautiful.

[William Liston]

This is one of my favorite poems by you. Great work.

-William Liston

[MuteB912]

Whoops! you forgot to put in an apostrophe for the word- we're. Very lovely poem though. This one is probably one of my favorites out of your poems I've read so far. Keep it up!