Merrin

A pretty name

You want it to show. It's a specter creeping on the dark corner. It's terrifying and you can always feel it. It's always with you wherever you go. It's like your own shadow. It's always there no matter how bright the sun is shining. You bring depression wherever the hell you go.
The thing about depression is you want it to show itself. You want to feel it. You're sick of it following you around so you stop walking and turn to face it. And what you see, is just a reflection of yourself. It's you but paler, gray with lines all over your tear-stained face. It's you with sad eyes but with a smile. It's your own demon.

Depression is like a half-broke light in a closed room. It flickers on and off and on and off again. It's annoying. You want it to stop flickering. It's uncomfortable. But you realize that the only way for it to stop flickering is when the light is completely broken.

After some time, after running away from it for so long, you just don't really care anymore. You want to embrace it and just drown in the darkness and subside in the arms of your own demon.
After some time, the demon doesn't seem so bad anymore. After some time, the demon becomes your friend. After some time, you realize your demon isn't the cause of your suffering. The ones that cause it are the bad things you can't control. Such as people who speak but do not know. Maybe the things that you wanted to stop but still keeps on going. Maybe the things you love, care and adore... but doesn't care for you at all. After some time, you realize depression isn't really your enemy but your friend. A friend that you can run to. A friend that will hold you. A friend that understands you. A friend you can cry to. A friend that you can tell all your secrets to. A friend that will never leave you.
I know that now, so I named my depression. Her name's Merrin.