truth

a short dialogue

what did you expect? i take what i can get because that's all i know how to do, that's all i'm capable of getting. if it's not, then obviously the better more worth while instances have been hiding and, if i may say, doing a damn good job. obviously i want more, to get what i deserve. for some reason i can't get it, can't find it, or maybe i don't want to. i don't want to look, to find it, to take a chance at being more because i've accepted this, what i have, because then things would change and i honestly wouldn't know what to do anymore. i would be content and i don't think i can handle that. i really don't since i've never had the opportunity given to me. the bottom line is that i'm afraid to be happy. that's why i keep letting this happen. let myself continue to be miserable and yoyoed around day to day; to be used, because that's all i've ever known.