Before the Clock Dies

The quiet thoughts of a ticking clock

Ticking clock

That's all I hear

The end of my time 

Quickly drawing near,

So I stand and I wait

For someone to care

An act of kindness

Before the world begins to tear.

How long will it take

Before we all give up?

And our hope runs dry

Like an emptying cup?

Gratitude became rare

And affection promptly unties,

Will consideration ever return?

Surely, I pray, before the clock dies

Author's Note

We have forgotten how to be kind.

Reviews

[Fran Marie]

There's not as much kindness..nor compassion expressed as there once was..IMO..like your creative views ..on the way people interact as a whole..so much hatred amoung the general masses..how much time is left before we self -destruct and the clock dies..nice work..

[Riley Justine]

Thank you so much!

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

Our perceptions often lead to misconceptions. When we are alone, the darkness seems vast and cruel. You capture that apprehension well in this write. Well done.

[Asante]

This piece speaks volumes to the way our world turns as a whole-- the lack of compassion, and genuine love for one another. This piece spoke simple beauty. I adore it. Great job. :)

[Mr_M]

A wicked poem, so smooth, so potent. The ticking clock tells us many secrets...

[AaronFreitas]

This is an awesome piece my friend.
"How long will it take
Before we all give up?
And our hope runs dry
Like an emptying cup?"

I love those lines. Awesome work!

[Riley Justine]

Thank you!

[L.M.W.]

I truly enjoy your writing as well, this piece especially. It's something we can't stop yet it constantly stops us from completely living, always gnawing at the back of our minds, waiting for it to strike. I love it!
So I stand and I wait
For someone to care
An act of kindness
Before the world begins to tear.

[Riley Justine]

Thank you so much for reviewing! It means a lot!
I'm glad you could relate and you enjoyed it.

[Relic]

You took inspiration from a mundane object and gave it serious meaning. Well done.

[Riley Justine]

Thank you so much!

[Lizzie Mitchell]

I love your creativity with this one. Concerns about the human condition flooding from the idea of a clock ticking. As much as people overuse the phrase "life is short" we still waste time being ungrateful and unhappy.

[Riley Justine]

Really glad you liked it!

[Coyote Poetry]

Very nice use of thoughts.
"How long will it take
Before we all give up?
And our hope runs dry
Like an emptying cup?"
I liked the question and the strong ending. When the clock stop. Is it too late? Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Riley Justine]

Thank you for reviewing!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

A beautiful poem. The reality of today's life expressed in an excellent way! :) The magic you've done with the words! I couldn't decide what lines to pick and what to leave out! Hats off! :)

Ticking clock
An abrupt and to-the-point beginning which I liked a lot but shouldn't there be a ''the'' before ''ticking''? I presume there's some reason behind the choice of words which I'd love to know. :)

So I stand and I wait
For someone to care
An act of kindness
Before the world begins to tear.
Great lines. :)

How long will it take
Before we all give up?
And our hope runs dry
Like an emptying cup?
These are such deep and meaningful lines and so well-written besides. I loved them.

Gratitude became rare
Since the rest of the poem is in the present tense, this sentence, though right in the general as well as grammatical sense, isn't right with respect to the poem. It should be ''Gratitude becomes rarer''.

And affection promptly unties,
What an absolutely amazing way of putting this reality forward. I'm head-over-heels in love with this line. :)

Will consideration ever return?
Surely, I pray, before the clock dies.
I loved the way you ended the poem on such a positive note. Really, really well done on this. :)

[Riley Justine]

Putting the in the beginning would absolutely destroy the flow, and it makes sense either way.
Same with the line that's in a different tense, it's supposed to make it more prominent that gratitude is already rare, not in the process of becoming rare. Everyone has a different voice when they write, so please consider this before you offer advice and "corrections"
The end of the poem was not supposed to be interpreted as positive, it was actually supposed to be the finishing touch on this dark poem. The fact we have to pray for these things is pathetic. Common courtesy isn't a thing anymore and we have to pray for the hope of change.

Glad you enjoyed it otherwise.

[Bushra Naqshbandi]

Okay I'm so sorry I took these things otherwise and thank you for explaining your point of view to me. :)
It's a great poem :)

[Riley Justine]

No problem! Next time I will specify in my author's note!