On a Sketch of a Pretty Girl

On a Sketch of a Pretty Girl

A Poem by jonah

That all superpowers and fancy vehicles

have found their way in

to the age of high definition.

A  vase; half of an anxious face that soaks

in a foreign hair, so foreign

that it empties and shrinks every boulevard

to a small chunk of cheese

and a glass of wine.


Graphite trails on marvels like Eiffel and Venetian canals,

luges that lead to the cities of rusty metal ribs.


Tomorrow night.

Disco balls will explode into shards of short lives,

minimal in sound, never a part of a world war roar,

suspended in between

an overt missed call and inactive numbers.

But, what is more welcoming

than a ride on a bike

with a basket filled with bottles of fresh milk?

Dolls and doodles break through the smoke

of a sick cigarette; A life, dwindling

in mature and productive lungs that ignore the sugar emanation

from a lemonade-biscuit sunrise.

Work is health.

It is painted on a prototypical canvas.


It's not here.


Graphite trails on marvels like Eiffel and Venetian canals,

luges that lead to the cities of rusty metal ribs.


She will emerge

from among thrones

of dresses

or of chores

as she pirouettes again and again

amid myths and legends


until everyone's time is up

and they have something to live for.


In the end, the pretty girl sits alone

with a small chunk of cheese

and a glass of wine in her hands

as she tries hard to wonder

how all superpowers and fancy vehicles

didn't leave any graphite


trails


on the construction of her worlds.  


© 2014 jonah



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Reviews

Wow, so I actually (and don't have writers block currently) don't know what to say to that. It sounded really good to me, and I think people should read this so you can get more feedback! It was... almost more deep, like some of the Ancient Poets I read, or maybe even Shakespearean...

Posted 2 Years Ago


"world war roar"

wow love the sound of that.

"But, what is more welcoming
than a ride on a bike
with a basket filled with bottles of fresh milk?"

This really struck a nerve too. Sounds very pleasant. Thanks for the enjoyment

Posted 2 Years Ago


jonah

2 Years Ago

thank you very much, jaime. glad you enjoyed my poem. hopefully i can improve my writing. oh, i just.. read more
Jaime

2 Years Ago

YES great album by them.. have you listened to it?
jonah

2 Years Ago

no i don't really listen to them...but i do like post-rock. maybe i'll check them out today hahah
A wonderful write, one that exceeds expectations indeed. Pen on to greatness...:).....

Posted 2 Years Ago


jonah

2 Years Ago

thank you very much Sami :) i really appreciate it
Sami Khalil

2 Years Ago

You are welcome...:)........
The juxtaposing imagery is riveting, the story you express sound. This was a lovely, wonderfully deep, and intoxicatingly colorful poem! Great work! :)
God bless,
-Mickey

Posted 2 Years Ago


jonah

2 Years Ago

thank you mickey! glad that you could get something from the poem :)

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Added on November 30, 2014
Last Updated on November 30, 2014

Author

jonah
jonah

Indonesia



About
I'm 19 year old christian man who lives in Indonesia. Sometimes i find it difficult for me to explain my thoughts and emotions in a solid, organized way. I must admit, that's one weakness of mine that.. more..

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