Red

Red

A Poem by Ricky Campbell
"

In between school, work, and a hateful home life it really is a tough time to get a break.

"
Red red red the color of anger
Walk in my school I am surrounded by red
Grumpy teachers, impatient students, reports due left and right
Red red red....
I got a job maybe this can be an escape
Out of the red and into something more blue
But how dumb was I, too think it was that easy
Like something out of a fairy tale
Work is more red than school
“Do this, do that! Why are you late! Point, point point!”
Coworkers mad that I do my job, bosses mad that I don't do it well enough
Temperatures to where my skin is blue, but everything else... Red
Sick of this all, I go home hoping for a break
And I do, one week red and one week blue
The blue is great, and well needed 
But I go to the red, its all just red
EVen my bed is red there is no where to run
“You want to be a lawyer? You’re not good enough”
“You want to do theatre? Are you gay?”
Well i'll tell you what I have everything to prove and nothing to lose
Ill be a top of my throne, you can shine my shoes
If im not good enough, I cant wait to prove you wrong
Just don't expect anything from me once I'm up top
Looking down on you all


© 2015 Ricky Campbell



Author's Note

Ricky Campbell
What did I do well, and what needs improvement?

My Review

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Featured Review

Hey Ricky, loved this poem. I'm going to illistrate the last 3 verses so I can hang them up somewhere! I totally empathize with what you're saying in this poem. I go to a private school where our teachers expect so much of us that it gives me a headache. Sometimes all you want to do is slam a door in their faces!

The only suggestion I have is reread it for comma use. I'm no expert but I think a couple lines (like "...I got a job, maybe this...") need a pause. My english teacher read my poem before I posted it. He told me to read t outloud and put a comma or period anywhere I paused.

BTW i tried to give you a 92.738 but they wouldn't let me put decimals in.

Posted 2 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ricky Campbell

2 Years Ago

Thank you! I never really thought of that, I will get to that!



Reviews

I liked how you reated the word "red" a few times in the first line . . . made the speaker sound a bit angry even

Posted 1 Year Ago


i realy like this poem, the way you describe the negativity but then come in saying it doesn't matter what others want. this is totally true, its your life, embrace it. it flows nicely, you write beautifully, wish i could write like you!

Posted 2 Years Ago


I like the use of colour.

"Well i'll tell you what" was my favourite part.

Posted 2 Years Ago


Yes, I would use stanzas I think. Also, commas where you pause. Content wise, I love it! Only the mechanics need tweaked here and there, but the poem itself is VERY GOOD. :-)

Posted 2 Years Ago


To be honest when I read this poem I imagined a two year old jumping up and down frustrated with the singing it hahahahahahhaha.... Ita was amaizng....
And I agree with kaitlin
And this line.
Bosses mad that I don't do it well enough seems a bit cramp,..
It would flow more smoothly if you remove 'enough'...
Thanks for sharingg

Posted 2 Years Ago


Very good, Ricky, maybe I would use stanza's, but that's a my choise and after all, it's your poem. :) Rudi

Posted 2 Years Ago


I thought it was really good, I can't think of anything that needed improving.
Well done!!

Posted 2 Years Ago


This is indeed a good set of color choices, well written I must say. All are lines are so true and is felt by everybody in most of their lifetime. I did feel that these two lines felt incomplete to me -
"Ill be a top of my throne, you can shine my shoes
If im not good enough, I cant wait to prove you wrong". You could have added a few more lines to bring out more optimism and rage. But otherwise, it's brilliantly written. :)

Posted 2 Years Ago


You've descripted your frustrations out of your pain very well.
But indeed that's how the life goes my friend.

armin. ...

Posted 2 Years Ago



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32 Reviews
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Added on March 5, 2015
Last Updated on March 5, 2015
Tags: mad, angry, emotions, work, school

Author

Ricky Campbell
Ricky Campbell

Portage, MI



About
I am a 16 year old teen from a calm, quiet city. I have aspirations of publishing a book of poetry before I graduate high school, and would appreciate any feed back and tips! Also, if you would like m.. more..

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