The "Love" Paradox

This is from HER perspective, talking to me.

I'll tell you we're soulmates,

That we're meant to be:

There's nobody for you

Who's better than me.

I'll tell you that someday

We'll be family,

But don't think that you own me.

During a movie I'll

Sit at your side.

Your arm goes around me

and I smile wide.

I'll squeal with excitement

Upon the home ride,

But don't think that you own me.

I'll text you all night

And tell you of my dreams

In which you can kiss me--

It certainly seems

That I daydream about you,

But nothing that deems.

So don't think that you own me.

I'll tell you you're cute,

That you're funny and smart,

That I'd give my world

For our romance to start.

I'll tell you I love you

With all of my heart,

But don't think that you own me.

Reviews

[Nothing Personal]

Right you are. Sometimes overpossessiveness and skyrocketed expectations create troubles, and even in the most intimate relationships, the importance of space for each other is important. It keeps the relation more hungry, more poignant. Well written, well flowing piece. Could be a nice little song in my honest humble opinion. Well Done Truman..

[Miss Coral]

Interesting piece- I like the switch of perspective.
The rhythm felt a bit weird to me in spots, but I really like the subtle rhyme scheme you managed to slip here. As I've told you before, rhymes generally drive me crazy, because they end up dominating the writers' words. You, somehow, have this amazing ability to not do that. Which, simple as it sounds, is a rarely found and much appreciate trait.

I had to wonder throughout this piece if you meant "ownership" as in "Love never holds ownerwship," type of thing, or an exclusive type of ownership, where she had an obligation to be monogamous. I at first thought you meant the former, but reading on, the tone seemed wrong for that, and the way that you were contradicting some phrases really made it seem like a exclusively seeing someone problem.

Maybe that's just my interpretation from little things, but that's what I got from it. Anyways, nice piece- I really like the simple vocabulary, because it allowed the reader a nice tone, and really concentrated the attention on the repetition.
Great job. :)

-Coral-

[Worms]

we all want to be loved
nobody wantes to be treated as fallback
amasing job
now if I could only spell :-P
you have mistyping this is so good

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

clear and concise~ every one wants to be loved and love~ owned and owning is another matter entire that has nothing to do with actual love~
although in the undercurrents of your write I sense youth and an uncertainty about commitment~well expressed poetic~

[Solidad]

"I'll tell you you're cute,
That you're funny and smart,
That I'd give my world
For our romance to start.
I'll tell you I love you
With all of my heart,
But don't think that you own me."

This makes my heart smile.

[MuSe Ampoule]

Great title to be followed by a great poem. I feel the tension here...wanting to be in love, but not owned, to give of yourself but not all of yourself. I felt the tension and hesitation, and the resentment of your flame wanting to consume you.

Love it...though I don't really understand the tag line at the top (in quotations)

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

love isn't about ownership, ever.. once that is involved, love hasn't a chance.

wise and beautiful, and put so humanly simple it aches along my spine.

wonderful