July 4A Chapter by Calypso
Today was okay, I guess. Of course everything could have been better. I had no one to talk to because Roman went home for the fourth. I just dressed in a tank top and shorts and sat in a lawn chair as people roasted marshmallows. Janna got on me for the tank top and very short shorts and made me change. If I didn’t change I would have been taken the library and not allowed to be in the water balloon fight or dance concert. Oh no that’s a horrible punishment! I wish they would make me go inside so I could sleep. As of late I feel anemic and have no energy. Then again I would still be in trouble if I didn’t do something. So I played volleyball at noon, ate two s’mores (Janna wasn’t watching) and sat by a bonfire. The whole time I walked around and took photos of the activities. I didn’t really want to eat, but after eating the two s’mores I felt like I had done something bad.
One boy at the bonfire pulled a guitar out of now where and started to play and sing like he was performing at Madison Square Garden. He sung some camp song, one that I never learned because I never went to camp.
While that guy was singing they started to pass around the bag of marshmallows. Some people took the marshmallows without thinking, but once the bag came to me I passed it along. I’ve already gained 25 pounds.
Once the guy was finished He asked it anyone else wanted to play. Then all of the sudden Eva screamed my name. I suddenly regretted telling her that I am in a band.
They passed the guitar to me like it was pot at the parties I’ve been to. Once I was handed the guitar I strummed it trying to get used to the feel of it.
A few screamed some songs I should play, but because I didn’t know hoe play the requested songs I just started to play a song I would play with the band.
“No one wants to die like this. A gun held to the head, and I knife in the back. Too bad I was never wanted; too bad they left me behind to feel all the pain they once had. Now I feel too damn loveless and the cure is the evil inside. Jesus save me, because I can’t save myself.”
I pause and everyone starred at me. They were probably excepting a silly camp song or a popular pop song. Then I realized I loved the thrill of performing so I kept going.
“The cure is the light. I want to feel real, I want to live but to summit; to admit the weakness inside is to be killed.” I strummed a few bars, hummed and started screaming “There’s everything wrong, but nothing wrong with my morals.” After screaming I sat back and started to cry. “I, I live without hope, I, I live with out love and I want that love, I want that peace and hope. Who is to be trusted? What am I supposed to feel? I’m evil and want my happiness”
The last bit I hummed. There was more but it was the repeat of what I just said.
Once I was finished about half the crowd around the fire clapped. That song was the only one I sung because I preferred to play the guitar or play the piano.
I looked up and saw Janna. She was slapping also. I guess a depressing song wasn’t a surprise.
After they left off fireworks we went to bed. Tomorrow everything will go back to normal.
© 2010 Calypso
Added on November 14, 2010
Last Updated on December 30, 2010
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