July 7

July 7

            I was born fat. It is my very genes to look like a person pumped with air. If my genes had their way everything my legs and butt would keep jiggling moments after I stopped moving. If my genes had their way I would be wearing a size 22 pants and could never lose a blessed pound.

            I’ve always loved food, maybe too much. I didn’t have friends as a child so fruit roll ups and Oreos became by BFFs. They never told me I was weird like the kids at my Christian school did, they liked me no matter how odd I was.

            Bullying at the Christian- school forced Dad to pull me out and place me in public school; it didn’t stop the problem, it only made it worse. Kids would poke my back or butt to feel how squishy it was.

            After third grade the kids grew up a bit and I thought my problems were over, but little did I know Mom would die in months before third grade started. That alone was hell and I once again gained so much weight. It wasn’t until after Morana’s suicide did I loss any desire to eat. I lost five pounds and everyone told me how wonderful I looked. They told me I was beautiful.

            I couldn’t cut my ties completely with binge eating so I would not eat the day after. I would be hard but at time I would use laxatives and diuretics as a way to lose some more. Three days of full blown binging, Three of eating nothing, one day of laxatives and diuretics, this was how my week went. One day eat everything, the nest eat nothing and eat alot the nest day. By the end of the week i would feel bad so I popped those pills and sat on the toilet for hours.

            For the first time in my life I was beautiful and these f*****g people at Brayant’s can go to hell before I came fat again.

Reviews

[PyroKitty24]

I can relate to this too. I love to eat, and I've always been a bit large. I've recently lost quite a bit of weight though.
I hope she can learn to deal with this.

[Chris38]

A wonderfullt honest bit of writing.

[Tina Kline]

Yes, she'll have to lose it all again once she gets out. Hopefully it will be as easy as the first time, often it isn't.