Bee Sting

Dawn dies by being stung by a bee, but she's not ready to go to heaven yet.

Bee Sting

 

          Dawn looked her body quizzically. Around her body was a large, beefy EMT with a tine hairline. Beside him was young black hair beauty that didn’t want to touch Dawn’s corpse. There was one final EMT, a boy who looked fresh out of high school. He kept a gloved hand on Dawn’s wrist the whole time.

          Behind the three EMT there were curious onlookers.

Dawn knew she was dead. As she died windpipe closed and her eyes burned like fire. She felt a sensation that reminded her of the dreams she had of water. In those dreams she would peacefully float to the bottom but would wake with a jolt before hitting the ground. What made this dream so different was that instead of jolting awake she became a ghost at the bottom. 

So here she is now, dead and standing in a gas station parking lot.

          “She’s going into cardiac arrest!” The young EMT yelled.

Swiftly she was holstered onto the stretcher and out inside the ambulance. Everyone was acting so quickly that they didn’t see the bee allergy bracelet fell out of Dawn’s pocket.

Dawn saw the light before hearing the voice.

The light was a golden and white beam that seemed hotter then the sun and more powerful then a bomb.

There was no need for her to shield her eyes because, to put simply, she no longer saw like human and neither felt pain. When the angel spoke it had the boom and force of an explosion but a slightly, underlined canorous tone.

The angel himself looked more beautiful then any man on Earth. His flowing golden hair reached his shoulders in a graceful cascade. His lake blue eyes pierced deeply. Above all his skin looked extremely soft and Dawn yearned to take his hand. The angel had put up his hand for her to grasp. “Come Dawn, it’s time to go home.”

Dawn gazed down onto the shinning palm of the angel and coolly responded, “No. I’m not ready.”

          “But you are aware you are dead?” This wasn’t meant to be a question; it was used merely to make Dawn feel silly.

“Yes, but my sister is giving birth.”

          There was a reason why Dawn had died in a gas station parking lot.

It was a hot and sticky summer’s day when her sister’s water broke. Dawn was at work at the time. When her father called she promised to come to the hospital after work.

Before going to the hospital she had to stop for gas for her 1992 Red Toyota truck. While pumping the gas she felt something crawl on her neck. Mindlessly she swatted at it. When she felt the sting of the bee she knew she was in trouble. She had tried to crawl to the truck where her epi-pen was but she died as she dragged her body there.

The angel spoke again, “The Big Man says I have to have you into heaven soon.”

“How soon?”

“I don’t have time to mess around.” He was quick to say.

“No, no, listen! What if you gave me thirty minutes at the most? No harm, right?”

 “Wrong,” The angel barked back, “The portal to heaven isn’t always open. If it were your great Aunt Jane would come to visit for Thanksgiving every year despite the fact she’s been dead for 20 years.”

Dawn never had a great Aunt Jane but she understood. “How long is the portal open?”

          “I don’t know.”

“What if it closed before I could get though it?”

The angel somberly answered, “You would wonder the Earth forever.”

She looked at the ambulance and said, “I’ll take my chances.”

Then with a swish the angel grabbed Dawn and through her towards the ambulance.

She wanted to scream but there was no need. She glided right through the back of the ambulance and landed gently and softly on to the floor.

In the ambulance the three EMT workers were fidgeting with needles, tubes and vital signs. They all spoke in hushed tones.

Then it occurred to Dawn why the angel had thrown her into the ambulance. It was the quickest transportation she had. As a ghost all she could do for transportation was float and glide slowly.

Once at the hospital the EMT workers literally busted the back door open and rushed Dawn’s now cold body in the belly of the hospital.

Dawn was speechless and amused by the way the large EMT roundhouse kicked the door open. However she didn’t have a lot of time to spend clucking, she was on a mission with a clock racing to the end.

She felt a rush of happiness as she came into the hospital but a realization feel onto he like a ton of bricks, she didn’t know where her sister was.

           Floating would just slower her down. She wished deeply that something would happen, and it did. The wheelchair moved on its own and came to Dawn. She knew then that she had some control over it.

The control of the wheelchair isn’t like Jedi Power, but it’s sure as heck close.

She sat in it and wished for it to move and so it did. It moved so fast she was sure the wheels would explode off it or the wheelchair would catch on fire.

All the while people were screaming loudly. An older with a walker urned white and fell over. In a way it faintly reminded Dawn of cow tipping.

Dawn was able to find her sister’s, Mary, room because of the screaming. It sounded like her arms were being torn off but there were also screams that sounded like Mary was trying to break the walls.

There was no way a the wheelchair was going into the room so Dawn floated into it.

“Where’s Dawn!” She screamed.

“I don’t know.” Her dad winced and rubbed his neck. “Dawn tends to be late sometimes.”

Mary growled something lowly under her breath and the doctor was there to get the baby out.

The poor doctor looked scared and Mary wasn’t helping out much. He placed his hand under her as if he was waiting for a football.

“You’re doing well just push harder.” He counseled.

          Mary’s face turned a red/purple and she wanted to scream some profanities but as she opened her mouth she passed out.

Both the doctor and Dawn’s father went into full panic mode. The doctor stumbled off of his stool and grabbed onto her Dad’s shirt.

          “Man you don’t get it, I’m an intern! I have no clue what I’m doing! I’ll get another doctor!”

Dawn knew then that she was going to have to be the one to do something. That was when she learned that she could do something else. She would phase her hand inside her sister’s body. It was when she place her hand upon her sister’s stomach that she learned that.

          Using both hands she helped push the child down the birth canal.Though she came upon another problem when the child’s head bumped against the pelvis. That was it; the child’s head was going nowhere.

“Mary!” Dawn wailed. “Mary you have to come to! You have a beautiful child who will die without your help. Please Mary, come to!”

Mary didn’t stir so Dawn tried again. This time she place her hands onto the child’s head, prayed it would work and phased to child through the pelvis bone.

Mary came to when the child’s head was about to come out, and it was good timing too. Dawn was very sure that her Dad would have had a deadly heart attack if he had seen his grandchild mysteriously ripped out of Mary’s body.

“Dad,” She mumbled feebly, “I think Dawn’s here, I heard her.” Her Dad had no time to argue back because an older doctor rushed into the room and took control.

“Oh my…” The doctor gasped, “This child is crowning. Are you sure that it was as deep in the womb as you said?”

The pale intern nodded and the older doctor mumbled something under his breath about incipient interns. 

“Ma’am you’re doing well. One push, that’s it.” With a bursting motive the baby boy can into the world crying and wake.

“Are you happy now?” The angel growled lowly. Dawn smiled warmly and desired to hold her nephew but she knew that was impossible. The portal showed up behind the angel.

“Man I am going to get a lecture back in heaven.”

Dawn playfully responded, “Hay there you saved a life. Isn’t that what angels do?” And with that Dawn started down the portal.

The angel walked behind her and said, “They don’t pay me enough for this job.”

 

Reviews

[TheSweet]

An amusing and nice little story. I love how you played the character of the angel and the basis of the plot was a nice idea. I only question that Dawn had a slight underreaction to the fact she was dead - with all else being important, to just accept it and not care is a little silly. Perhaps that's just me :P

I just think a little more emotive and impacting writing would be good in this. The main thing I can suggest is editing a few more drafts, also because there are a fair few mistakes that need to be proof-read out, also. Just think more about your sentence structure and how you can re-write sentences to make them sound better and more impacting. Try reading it out loud to make sure it sounds perfectly as intended - all this stuff just to get your writing style feet on the ground :) Thanks for sharing!

[PyroKitty24]

What a cute story! It was sad, but funny and happy all at the same time. What a weird mix of emotions haha. I enjoyed reading it though. It needed proofread, but the plot was fun

[Inyourshadow]

Love the Angel and the way your character berated him into doing what she wanted, very brave descision to chance limbo for the chance to see her nephew born, but what father or mother wouldn't face damnation for one of thier siblings, beautifully told tale with nice warm undertones. keep em' coming

[Sunflower 20]

haha, great ending! very nice story, i really enjoyed it. thanks for the read request :)

[Knuckles]

Great! A lovely twist on an old theme with a contemporary amusing style

[trainwreck]

Great job as always! I love the whole thing, from beginning to end.

[Coyote Poetry]

To be a Angel and to transport people would be a difficult job. I like how you told this tale. To be able to watch the last moments of life would be entertaining. I like how she change direction but got back on track again. A very good ending for a excellent story.
Coyote