Never Enough

Just expressing a feeling. Also to point out (has been confussion) all the parts in colour are 'people saying things to me'.

Time and again I’m beginning to see

A life forever lonely condemned to me.

Try as I might, I can never hold tight

To the things in life that make it 'alright'.

 

Time and again I try and fail

As hopes and dreams leave and set sail.

Leaving bitterness toll as a resounding bell

And linger on always like an unbearable smell.

 

Time and again I’m left heart broken and bare!

As the world looks down, doing nothing but stare!

Condemning my choices with their loud, silent voices.

Dragging me down with their forceful devices!

 

Time and again I hear their repetitive voices

Joining together in an almighty chorus!

 

“You’re great my sweet but…it’s not enough

I don’t want you in my life, so…tough!”

“You’re a wonderful daughter, but…it’s not enough!

You need to stop making this terrible fuss!”

"Mum, I don't like you, can you not see?!

That your best is never enough for me?!"

“Any guy would be lucky to have you as a wife,

It’s just I don’t want you in my life.”

“You’re a wonderful mum, your parenting grand!

But the sight of this house, I never can stand!”

"Mum, it's OK! Don't be so dismayed,

I know that success is something you can't sustain!"

 

WAIT! All of you STOP! Just give me a break!

I’m really not sure how much more I can take!

I’m constantly striving to be so much more,

Yet you keep showing me to the death ridden door!

Stop telling me how to live MY life best!

Stop making me feel my life is grotesque!

I’m trying so hard to fulfil each request

But it’s never enough, as you harshly assess!

 

Tears slowly fall as I write on the page

To tired and beaten to feel any rage.

I have become possessed and obsessed

In an attempt to impress.

But nothing is enough, it’s getting so tough!

I’m tired of repeating this same old stuff!

I cannot conform to all your desires!

Your constant demanding’s cut through, like barbed wire!

 

I no longer know what it is i should do.

I try so hard in all that I do.

My life is not my own.

Even though feel I have grown.

But NO! It is never enough!

And in love I, myself, am never enough.

All that I am tries to let you all see

The person that I am trying to be!

 

I love whole hearted

In return, you’re cold hearted.

You praise who I am! Yet,

In the same breath, forget.

“You’re fantastic and wonderful! Any man would be

Lucky to have you! But…you’re not for me!”

So tired of fighting to be more than I can.

Sometimes I feel my life is just…damned!

Am i really such an undeserving daughter,
That you rebuke me from fields

Just like the lamb for the slaughter?!

I cannot continue to receive these bequests

Of sorrow and torture

That give my soul SUCH unrest.

 

It’s time to face the facts.

Face all the things I lack.

No matter what I do.

How hard I try.

Who I love.

How much I care.

Time and again,

It will never be enough.

Time and again,

I...will never be...enough.

 

By underwriter    17/01/2011

Reviews

[.:Arianna:.]

Whoa...I loved this one, im really impressed. Great work!:)

[Nothing Personal]

I would like to say one thing which is kind of obvious. There is no one you can impress, there is no one you can make happy as long as you can't impress yourself and stay happy yourself. Taken another way, this reads as "You cannot possibly keep everyone happy, make sure you keep yourself happy, the rest falls in place"

The poem's a wonderful treatment of the above subject..The agonies and frustrations are endless when we try to match up and yet they are not enough. It emphasizes on this point, how utterly crappy it is to keep on expecting and how often our closed ones turn out to be hypocrites saying all's well but turns out this isn't the best for me..The poem's form makes it look like a bit repetitive which helps in re-enforcing the points you are trying to make :-)

[DeViouS]

Very well written poem. So expressive. So open. Hope you feel better having expressed it. Although we cannot perhaps meet the expectations of others or even our expectations of ourselves that doesn't mean we stop trying. It is only with God that we can find unconditional and complete love and acceptance. unfortunately us mortals just dont quite make the grade.