The Lone Traveler

Its not just my life, I tried to relate it to everyone's. Where would you be...? in the near future?? Its my future that Im talking about, and Im travelling with the passage of time...

The Lone Traveler - unfathomd

It is strange at times

When  its your future that haunts,

Like unhealed wounds

that unleash thoughts

Every drop of my past,

is etched in my mind.

Its not the forgotten, that plagues me the most,

its my bleak future and the price it would cost.

There were certain things, that I did not do.

Crying over my past that I can never renew

Its nugatory to evaluate how much was spent,

but its a genuine gaze through a bridge called the "present"

A distant land that I once left cold,

to an unknown land in search of gold.

I'm not sure about the journey ahead

I walk with hope on a flimsy thread

If I could ever go back and make some changes,

I guess I'd do that and hence you may not read this.

Shouldering the future, this lone traveler walks,

Even though sightless with stars in his eyes

Reminiscing over what lies ahead,

The once vibrant land, where memories bled.

Reviews

[ElizaB]

It's very good.

However is it about a carousel? ;)

[olla]

it is experience that gives us wisdom.. the good the bad and the worst.. and all the old wisdom is still true.. that which doesn't kill us makes it interesting.. you have a voice.. keep using it..

[Surya]

"Shouldering the future, this lone traveler walks,
Even though sightless with stars in his eyes
Reminiscing over what lies ahead,
The once vibrant land, where memories bled"....i liked these lines, who experienced past....well penned..
Thank you for sharing..

[Winslow Des Totes]

I like how this flowed and had a sense of purpose, that is nice to see done well here.
I especially liked the lines "A distant land that I once left cold,
to an unknown land in search of gold.
I'm not sure about the journey ahead
I walk with hope on a flimsy thread." You have a real knack for imagery! The only point of contention I find is with myself in that there are a few "its" that should be "it's"; a good rule of thumb is to use"it is" and see if it makes sense still, if it does use "it's" and if it does not use "its". It won't always be proper but it will be close enough to not be noticeable :D Otherwise an excellent and thought provoking piece!

[Coyote Poetry]

Amazing use of thoughts.
"'Shouldering the future, this lone traveler walks,
Even though sightless with stars in his eyes
Reminiscing over what lies ahead,
The once vibrant land, where memories bled."
The above lines. Could stand as a story alone. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[andrew mitchell]

basically you have birth, you have death, the end of life as we know it, and in between what you do is up to you, its your score card.we carve our own destinies.

[richieb]

Unfanthomed,
You write of a troubled past,with an uncertain future. You make a point to the reader that tomorrow comes with little hope. You did a fine job describing your thoughts and emotions in this direction. As the reader I could feel your darkness and despair. A little of Edgar Allen Poe in your writing. You continue to grow as a writer.
You are a young man, imagine when you have many more years to look back on and reflect. If you are aware of your feelings as a young man then your writing can only become deeper and well polished.
Peace,
Richie b.

[Ruth]

It always seems to be the past that reflection likes to dwell on but I understand the future haunting also, your poem articulates many emotions that leave me wondering how exactly all points only lead to the now, poignant and powerful...