Did you even love me?

I had to leave. You hurt me and lead me on. I cried every night because I didn’t plan on leaving you. You were my true love, I felt it. Every time I see you my heart aches. Spending a day with you made me realize what I lost. But you’re happy now, happier than you were with me. You hurt me in so many different ways I can’t describe.

You left me on a cold winter night, in January. I cut you off all the way in March.  I got stabbed in the heart on that cold winter night. I screamed so bad my throat hurt. I wanted to run, because I thought it was a dream. You destroyed my love life. You made me realize how a guy should and shouldn’t treat me. You showed me what it felt like to be free.

I loved the way you used to hold me. I loved the way you would push my hair back behind my ear and kiss me. I loved how you used to fall asleep on me. The way you would laugh when I did something stupid. I loved you more than I loved myself. I miss you sometimes but I know I have to move on. You did, faster than I did. I was never over you, but I guess you were over me. Even though I got with someone faster, I tried to get rid of the memories of you.

You can see the change in me. I’m depressed a little more. I hurt more. My heart aches more. I left because I couldn’t take being hurt anymore, but I hurt myself even more. I’ve tried so many times to get you off of my mind but it never works. Every time I think of you it hurts me inside. I’ve tried not to remember you, but the pain is only getting stronger.

You pushed me out of your life knowing that I would be damaged even more than I could ever be damaged. You listen to her when you unfriended me, but you never listened when I asked if you would unfriend a girl.

You left me sitting there crying. I felt like my life was torn apart. I tried to erase memories of you by every little cut on my body. I bled for you, I suffered freezing cold nights with you. I wish I would have never gotten with you, this pain kills me inside. I could never understand why you had to leave.

You always had this lame excuse about how you were busy, but you never were. When I would text you I would always worry for a text back. I even broke some of my parents rules for you. When I got hurt, you hardly supported me. You would always say some smart remark about how I did it to myself. I tried to work things out with you but you never did listen.

I cared so much about you, but you didn't do the same.

Did you even love me?

Author's Note

Some of this is not real. Most of it is.

Reviews

[nikki.s.]

Wow. This is really good. I am sorry you were hurt. I wanted to cry reading this.

[Unknown]

Thank you! And I cried while writing it.