Ghost Limbs

This blank sheet tried to erase my words again.

As intimidation causes avoidance.

As avoidance is chaining the last two days together.

…............

Everything I have done in the last two days has involved avoidance you see a chain reaction of exploding bits the further divide and explode from each other so on not unlike cells dividing up on conception of life that this is not building it is the taking of something home and alive with complimentary accommodating functions and making them all turn upon one another an unnatural mutation which causes it to act in the opposite way that it should by design.

I say f**k you blank sheet. I made you mine.

I isolate myself to pick apart all of my pieces

So that all are displaced and isolated in their own dysfunction

They reorganize themselves

and find a common goal

To repel each other

Splitting smaller and smaller

so that they can maximize their in between

Avoiding my emotions avoiding clear thought avoiding going to work avoiding sleep food exercise routine of my medications

Running away from fears about everyday things money love kindness worthwhile stupid Talent old falling apart etc

Anytime this starts it all turns to avoidance

I am not aware of my emotions

Repelled by all I know

now vacant of pain or pleasure

the entire container of my existence

remembered

is a whisper

oh

so like the Ghost Walk of amputated legs