Summer Dream

I once dreamed of a beautiful day

When every songbird seemed to say 

     Come sing with us!

     Come sing with us!

Come serenade the sky!

And so I joined their pleasant song

With a soft and harmonious cry.

 

I once dreamed of a beautiful day

When every flower seemed to say

     Come grow with us!

     Come grow with us!

Come drink the morning dew!

And so I knelt to taste the rain

Where the tranquil old willow tree grew.

 

I once dreamed of a beautiful day

When every creature seemed to say

     Come run with us!

     Come fly with us!

Come breathe the evening air!

And so I felt the twilight breeze

As it rippled my sun-tinged hair.

 

As the sun set on my beautiful day

Every firefly seemed to say

     Come dance with us!

     Come dance with us!

Come dance within our light!

And so I danced beneath the stars 

On this clear and serene summer night.

Reviews

[J.P.O.et]

I absolutely love this. The repetition and rhyme scheme is just addictive and you just don't want it to end. I read in your bio that children's books/lit is something you are interested in and I think this piece is right in that mold. I could see this being expanded upon with illustrations and whatnot and making for an uplifting and imaginative children's piece completely interactive and the whole nine. You really have a gift to inspire and teach at the same time and like I said the rhyme scheme and repetition is perfect for children and this big kid as well. I really LOVE this, keep the dream alive.

J.P.O.et

[foolsrush]

The writing here is very well done, your rhythm and the way you've used it here make this almost seem real. However, as beautiful as this piece is, there is no reality in it.

Oh! To dream! It is a wonderful thing, but one must understand their reality, I would enjoy seeing that expressed somewhere. With your talent and your grasp of language, you could do quite well with reality.

[Celtic Cat]

Absolutley wonderful. Who better to inspire us than the Velveteen Rabbit? ; )
I love this piece, it's so full of good energy... it's already lifted me to a higher energy level just by reading it.
YES! We should all take our cues from this writing and dance with the fireflies under the moon! wonderful!

[bluessadmood]

oh this was nice and wonderful
i once dreamed of a beautiful day
Come drink the morning dew!

And so I knelt to taste the rain
Where the tranquil old willow tree grew

When every creature seemed to say
Come run with us!
Come fly with us!
Come breathe the evening air!
And so I felt the twilight breeze
As it rippled my sun-tinged hair.
Every firefly seemed to say

Come dance with us!
Come dance with us!
Come dance within our light!
And so I danced beneath the stars
On this clear and serene summer night
how lovely and sweet ,all these pictures you draw here,its like you are dreaming
of your special world,where nature talks to you
oh its been long since we talked to her,we messed up with her
but it seems you still feel her,and her beauty
and how beautiful she is
wonderful work,i just loved every word

[Daniel]

Wow. That was amazing!

Great job and good luck in my contest! :D

[Dalaina Renee]

Very well thought out! Good job!

[Ammietia]

Beautifully written and it paints a wonderful picture of summer. I love it. Keep writing beautifully.