They are watching

They are watching

A Poem by Unravel Me
"

There are things in the depths of our minds. And they are ALWAYS watching.

"
I am crazy unique.
They tell me I need to sleep. 
I tell them I can't. 
I don't want to return to the haze the call reality.
I've seen the truth.
I know their secrets. 
I see the things the darkness hides.
Not the darkness you see at night,
but the darkness in your mind. 
The abyss that goes unexplored. 
I can see it. 
I can see  them
And I'm scared.
I'm scared that if I sleep they will go away
And that when I'm vulnerable,
They'll come for me.
Please.
Please Please Please.
Don't let them make me sleep.

They are watching.




© 2016 Unravel Me



Author's Note

Unravel Me
I'm thinking of going farther with this idea and actually making a story out of it, opinions?

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Featured Review

This is reminiscent of 'invasion of the body snatchers' but seems more personal. It's as though the speaker is either mentally ill or he knows more than anyone else. The first line shows he came to the conclusion he is not crazy, he knows and needs to tell others.

Interesting tale.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I feel like whatever is watching you is the mind's subconscious creatures. I would like to see you turn this into a story.

Posted 1 Year Ago


Interesting......this reeks of paranoia, which is great because you've opened a door into something limitless with possibility. There were lines here and there that I thought you could've done or said the same thing differently but I understand that it's a process. Something that I like to do while editing a poem is to take a line that I'm not entirely satisfied with and stew on it. Trying to come up with a creative if not witty way to say the same thing. If I can make it rhyme, then all the better but that's not always necessary either. I still enjoyed your write .

Posted 1 Year Ago


Sounds like the spooky things my nieces and nephews read and the movies they like to watch. Go for the story, do it a little at a time just let the idea grow. Valentine

Posted 1 Year Ago


Your dreams sound much more exciting than my own. I found your description of your nocturnal escapades hard to relate to, as I am always so surpriised at the mundanity of my own nightly wanderings. Yes I think you could rework both into a dark story, and scare the pants off unsuspecting voyagers.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is reminiscent of 'invasion of the body snatchers' but seems more personal. It's as though the speaker is either mentally ill or he knows more than anyone else. The first line shows he came to the conclusion he is not crazy, he knows and needs to tell others.

Interesting tale.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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189 Views
5 Reviews
Rating
Added on November 19, 2016
Last Updated on November 19, 2016
Tags: horror, darkness, crazy, unique, scared, thriller, mind, psychological thriller, spooky

Author

Unravel Me
Unravel Me

About
I'm just a college student with a lot that goes unsaid. more..

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