Bast&rd

I just knew in that moment 
when I looked across the kitchen at you,
it felt as if, for you, there was a million miles between us.
Never have I felt such intense longing and self loathing at the same time.
I cursed myself for not turning and walking away with some dignity intact.
I was fixed, 
motionless, 
face burning, 
heart shamed
waiting for something, 
a response, 
a kind word.
Your indifference making me nauseous,
I was at a loss.
Only panicked thoughts of how to make you notice me arose
and in doing so they only served to  further reduce 
what remained of my self respect. 

Only the pooling of my eyes moved me to turn and leave,
I denied you my tears at least.

Reviews

[Lady of the Ring]

touching. i sense betrayal and anger, hidden beneath the need to be acknowledged. amazing piece

[r. f. jordan]

i like how the title is a play with the use of the "and symbol, as if part of what makes the speaker want to call the antagonist that is the fact that the antagonist has already moved on into their "and". this is a straightforward ode to love's depleting "Only panicked thoughts of how to make you notice me arose
and in doing so they only served to further reduce
what remained of my self respect." brilliant work, and thank you for sharing it with us on this site.

[brandon beacon hill]

not so sure on the title though...bit too obvious...sorry...forgot to add that...again...well done!

[brandon beacon hill]

wow! powerful, to the point and very nicely described...really felt how this looked, if you know what i mean....love the end...and at the same time felt a bit sad by "his" indifference....

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

you are such a beautiful poet ... truely , thats the kind of poetry I love most , direct , real , no games , simple .... you let me deep into your heart here

[Michael Osterhus]

ouch

[pinpen]

i really like this write...

[Gurdeep...The Lost<>]

Nice one victoria..)

[. serah .]

. heartbreaking poetry, dear Victoria ... the title is well deserved by the subject ... i'll never be able comprehend the absence of compassion ... particularly when someone is unable to reciprocate love ... love may not be in one's control but compassion always is ...

[Wondering Mind]

Indifference and not hate, that's the killer of love...
Nicely worded.