open poetry night.

open poetry night.

A Poem by Matt
"

wrote this for dun bros open poetry night.

"

V1

Your smile is worth my displace.

How bitter this dehydration.

Breathe in quickly to discover cemented distaste

Every time you’re close to me.

I contradict my thoughts of salacity.

Breathe out slow, my hearts beat splitting an eyelash.

You grow in my heart salaciously.


V2

How bitter this dehydration.

Breathe in quickly to discover cemented distaste

Every time you’re close to me.

I contradict my salacious thoughts in haste.

Breathe out slow, steadying my hearts fractious beat.

You grow in my heart salaciously.


V3


Omitting Love from Affection.

How bitter this dehydration.

Breathe in quickly to discover cemented dissatisfaction.

Every time your close to me,

I contradict my salacious thoughts in haste.

Breathe out slow, steadying my hearts fractious beat.

You grow in my heart salaciously.

She’s my predilection.


© 2010 Matt



Author's Note

Matt
i wrote these versions for open poetry night at dun bros coffee i did for my english class.tell me what version you like best.
all comments are welcome. and the night was awhile ago. i think i ended up reading open poetry night 2--- http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/GorrilaxGREENx/506787/

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Reviews

I personally Prefer the first one, I believe it is quick to the point and doesnt add unecessary words. These are very good and show great promise of a futur in writing.
~Aradie

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

last one

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the last one. Its more ...emotional. :D

I say do that one. :D

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I would go with 1 or 3 bro.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I cant really say which one is my favorite I like them all. But id probably say 1 is the best. Great job :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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234 Views
5 Reviews
Added on February 4, 2010
Last Updated on February 4, 2010
Tags: love, heart break, depression, fuck, lust, run, walk, seek, where, when, how, I, pain, bitch, dandelion

Author

Matt
Matt

Fort Worth, TX



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my name is matthew. nuff said... oh and all this is old stuff.. way old stuff more..

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