My perfect woman( a sequel).

My perfect woman( a sequel).

A Poem by vspjaguar
"

Somewhat like a sequel to my poem "the perfect woman".

"
Her eyes, a black moon in white sky.
I can see a new world in her eye.

Her hair, as black as the black moon,
gently dances to the breeze's tune.

As she speaks, her lips reminds me
how the blooming of a red rose will be.

caressing her cheek, I wonder whether
it feels softer than a bird's feather.

When she is happy, her shy dimple comes
out of it's hiding. A delightful sight it becomes.

Her radiant body shines in warm rays
of love which clears all my internal haze.

Her fingers, beautifully aligned in arrays,                                           
seems like rose petals in many ways.

The beauty veiled by her white robe
is an enigma that tempts me to probe.

In my mind I created this perfect woman
and In my dreams I am her prefect man.


© 2013 vspjaguar



Author's Note

vspjaguar
As some of the reviewers of my piece "the perfect woman" wanted me to write a follow up poem, I wrote one by creating my perfect woman in my imagination. Please let me know what you feel about this piece and also spot any errors so I can fix them. Thank you.

My Review

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Featured Review

its a beautiful description...but i feel you focused entirely on the outer appearance rather than the inner soul..isn't that what actually matters? what she does to you, what constitutes the person that she is...please am sorry if you do not appreciate my view but this is my point of view.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

vspjaguar

4 Years Ago

I totally understand you, but I can't really imagine an inner soul, probably when I find someone in .. read more
being me

4 Years Ago

will wait till then:)



Reviews

Let your dreams come true. wonderful imagination, but now a days in our place it is difficult to find girls with such a pretty hair. Also don't waste your time by searching for such a perfect woman.
Poetry is very good.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

vspjaguar

4 Years Ago

Thanks a lot! there might be someone, right? ;)
A young man's beautiful fantasy woman is aptly described in this poem. I liked the last verse the best. It's very simple, endearing and touches the reader's heart.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

vspjaguar

4 Years Ago

Thanks a lot! :)
its a beautiful description...but i feel you focused entirely on the outer appearance rather than the inner soul..isn't that what actually matters? what she does to you, what constitutes the person that she is...please am sorry if you do not appreciate my view but this is my point of view.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

vspjaguar

4 Years Ago

I totally understand you, but I can't really imagine an inner soul, probably when I find someone in .. read more
being me

4 Years Ago

will wait till then:)
this is a perfect follow up to the first. everything i hoped for and expected from a gifted writer such as yourself. outstanding!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

vspjaguar

4 Years Ago

thanks a lot! I am really happy to receive such a compliment from a well seasoned writer like you.
Nice poem. This one is stronger than the previous. The lines flow smoothly, and each couplet presents one sharp image.

In the fifth couplet, can you add a space after the period?

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

vspjaguar

4 Years Ago

Thanks a lot for your review. Thanks for pointing out, I will add space.
i cant much more than what the others have said. So ill say what i always say to poems like these.
Beautiful

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

vspjaguar

4 Years Ago

Thanks a lot mate!
This is wonderful, just like "The Perfect Woman"! I can vividly visualize how this woman looks like and feel that admiration for her at the same time.
Great job on this,
KS

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

vspjaguar

4 Years Ago

I intended this as a sequel.Many reviewers asked me why that woman in white robe is special,I wrote .. read more
absolutely brilliant.. I loved those description about dimples.. something very new..

Posted 4 Years Ago


wow :D awesome - so beautiful! no more words to describe!


Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This comment has been deleted by the poster.
The Dreamer

4 Years Ago

well i always day dream so i have complete control over my dreams :D- i never have lucid dreams, coz.. read more
vspjaguar

4 Years Ago

thats great! :D

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9 Reviews
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Added on January 15, 2013
Last Updated on January 17, 2013
Tags: fantasy, dream, love

Author

vspjaguar
vspjaguar

Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India



About
HI friends! My name is Sai Prasath,I am from Southern part of India.I started writing poems 2 years back when I realized that a pen in my hand can speak many unspoken words.I use poetry as a tool to.. more..

Writing
Feminine Feminine

A Poem by vspjaguar



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