My little sister

its a poem i wrote while thinking of my little sister

Although i was not there when she gave her first cry
But whenever i see her in tears i die inside
She deserve more than she has been given
Her smile usually stop the time
She shine like the sunshine
Her beauty is beyond comparism
Her every word brings laughter to my face
She is like a light to the dark part of me
She bring joy wherever she is
Now apart from her
I could see how significant she is to me
I miss her.

Reviews

[Kirasoul]

Heartwarming at first, yet heartbreaking in the end. I can relate the bond you share with your little sister ( in likeness I have to my little brother) written with simple yet chosen words :)
A few time tense mistakes.
Second sentence I would suggest from "feel sad" to "die inside"
Very good work!

[Adesanya Yewande]

thanks kirasoul,your point noted

[Adesanya Yewande]

i like it better,it bring out the emotion more,like the way i really felt,once again thanks

[Kirasoul]

my pleasure :)