Thistle

A poem about how we need to let the young dream or our world could turn ugly.

There once way a boy who lived in a dream
Everyone told the boy he could not live like this
Why asked the boy, and in return all they did was laugh

I'll show you said the boy
And built a house made of thoughts and memories
A wink here, a kiss there, and never a crack to fall into

Still they laughed
The boy became angry and tears started to fall from the sky
Darkness covered the boys new home


And some may ask why
You see this boy you just might know
This boy is everywhere you go

Lost he may be, alone in the dark
Where no one else can see
But don't anger this child

For his name means fear
He was bourn on a fault line
Raised by witches

His father was devil
His mother the neutron bomb
He makes love to L.S.D. then he moves on

So think about it next time when you tell a child no
Or tell them you can't do that�

Reviews

[Brittany]

You have an interesting build-up with this piece. I can almost see my grand-mother, wagging a no-no finger at me, as she try to warn of badness to come.

The progression of the boy and his torment nicely shadows our dark morality, and children are always the victims of our decisions.

The photo is frightning and effective, but I almost wish that there was a line after "Or tell them they can't do that..." to sort of transition the reader a bit better.

All in all good job, an interesting piece.

[poems with feeling]

so powerful bring me to tears

[Jasmine]

this took an unexpected turn for me... dream-promoting turned devil-warning... interesting stuff. I liked it... often, those who are condemned for their differences become a true enemy.
great work.

[India Brooks]

I find this really powerful and beautiful! The way you twist in your message with subtle suggestions at first and then more direct feelings and words. I can't wait to read more of your stuff!

[Kimmi]

I really liked this, too many people say no and tell their children they can't achieve what they want in life, can't do the job they want. It all leads up to them being unhappy in the end and I think it was really cool how you built this up until the end and the picture kind of tops it off really.
Well done :)

[Ladysue]

wow, this was very profound and you captured it in such a way that would make anyone think twice. You did an excellent job getting this insightful message across. Very well done...

[Gabriella]

I can really relate to this because it reminds me of someone I know. I thought it was very insightful, and the dark tone of it increased as it went on, which really drew me in. Thanks for sharing.

[jessfoundwonder]

This is good. i haven't ever read a poem about something like this. and that pic is just plain freaky.

[Winter McPherson]

So imaginative! What a thought provoking write that was so beautifully penned. "a wink here, a kiss there".....such creativity.....yet very sobering to see how children are destroyed. The ending was so haunting! Very well done, my friend.

[Tracie Skarbo]

Oh wow...this is scary and that photo..my god! I agree with you though, I was a child who was told no for a lot of reasons. Most of them because of my gender; the result was an obsession to prove everyone wrong. As though their words started a fire in my belly and I found myself trying to do things I had never thought of. In some ways I suppose I should be greatful, those experiences taught me a lot about myself. But I often wonder if the price was worth it most of the time.

Nicely done
Tigra