cruel to me

a response to You & I

I am the small portion of your truth

I am the tiny room in your persona

I am the spark of your agenda

I am what you are today

 

Do you know that every step you take,

the choice you make,

               and risk & consequences you face…
                       I was there all along, all the time…

But then….

You just shove me aside like I never existed.

 

How can you be so cruel to me?

 

Though you know, you were a part of me you’ve shove aside

Like a book stored in a bookshelves for display only

After all, you’re done using me…

Every pages of my chapter bleeds of black ink

Dirtying the emptiness around me

For I am the only book that is stored in this big bookshelves you had created

 

Why create such empty shelved, if you rarely come?

 

The pages we created are full of secrets that you had already forgot and in fact the inks becomes blur as it ages as it bleeds out of each page. Little by little it fades throughout the years of forgotten times. Too much pain in it that your coping mechanism is to forget all, childhood memories gone even the happy ones you can’t remember as you try to live today.

Author's Note

It's a response to You & I
http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/willyampax/1008012/

this isn't me anymore... a lost soul inside

Reviews

You're the reason I came back, yes, like you almost are in my core!!! how brilliant are these lines you start with... same time very eerie.... ha! :D

The denial, and dissapointment, shows then soon up, in your next stanza, the way of perception, and things a family would like you to see as, and you couldn't realize, "Enough" for your feeling, I like the bleeding of black ink my dear, it means healing and touching the core of so many others couldn't themselves... brilliant that is how you deal with it, always.... maybe it's not you anymore, but you speaking to you, out of your body, I know this feeling... lost or not, this is poignant to overview.

By too much stress, and denial, yes, you can forget each tiny little memory, of what was one time so important, but I believe, when you write about that specific happening, it is still somewhere there in your memory, (as you know what I mean), just let it out, and face it... my dear friend, for the little you, isn't gone, yet, I know that by all you do for me... :) Such a thought provoking awesome piece, yet again, and keep tha head up love, proud of you always.

- Elisa x

[Sami Khalil]

Like a book stored in a bookshelves for display only
After all, you’re done using me…
Life is a big book written with different chapters my dear friend and sometimes with blood and sweat then we come to a point in life where family or friends don't value it or our lives and put us on a shelf or a back burner. I feel you and hear your echo...
A great piece Mr. Pax...:)

[asdarkeyesclose]

well whoever has stuck you on the book shelf is missing out big style! i'm sure you'll find your way. they say it is the lows in your life that shape you as a person as it is what brings you out of the depression or isolation that you will believe in and fight for. it doesn't matter if it is a person or a belief, something will trigger a big reaction and you'll start to feel positive again. you take care for now :))))

[quinfinn]

this is ingenious. speaking as if life were an open book, but if no one opens that book, what good is it to own one? the stories we could all tell if only someone showed an interest. superb write, Pax!

[gabrielle]

Your works evokes so much sadness. I would like to say that people can be cruel to us if we only allow them to. But the bigger question is how can we shield ourselves from cruelty, when we are the ones being cruel to ourselves? I am not in your shoes kabayan, so it may be easy for me to say this- words can hurt but it can't kill you.

[Corset]

So hard it is to live in these times, but can you imagine the days without being able to connect to friends? Back in the cowboy and indian days, we've become so spoiled that we don't realize what we have. You have many who love you my friend, who come and read you, and wonder about your day, so many wonders before our eyes, set outside yourself write another chapter, ps..I'm still waiting to see what happened to characters in the book you were writing, about the brothers and the girls they love :) Can you direct me? Is it written yet?

[Pax]

well... i can't imagine it, i have done it... I distance myself to my friends... i had no contact with them for quite awhile now... for me its hard to find real friends in the outside world... ...

smiling about the chapter.. I'

[Pax]

not finish yet.. i push the wrong button...

i had written two more chapters after the wondering thoughts... then after that nothing else... i fully dried... i guess.. thank you so much dear friend...

[Corset]

oh bugger Paxie! Will you give me a heads up when you get the next one written please? :)

[Pax]

i will give you a heads up when i finally written two more chapters... it will be open soon..

[Corset]

k :) :) :) :)