ashen smog

loneliness has defined
this old soul.
Bittersweet melody
has tuned my way of 
living.

I don't know how much 
my heart could stand
the weight and wait
for that simple moment,
that single spark
to feel alive
and stop breathing
the ashen smog of reality.

Author's Note

Credits to the photo: smog-free-project-6

"from ashen gray to ashen fields
comes, ashen smog...

do they care if I'm loved?

perhaps I'm too comfortable on my
own space and too confined to be bothered."

thank you for reading,
me...

someday, when i know i've done right
and okay, I'll compile this into a book called:
ashen...

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

As your note mentions, I hope you do indeed do a book about your journey. I recall you were one of my first friends here and it has been amazing to read your heart and have insight into your struggles.
Reality...now there's a word...concept...conundrum. I've heard it said that perception is reality...I am not even sure I understand that! With a heart as gentle and perceptive as yours, it would be difficult for you to live in denial of what is. Perhaps, as some say, we must just adjust our way of viewing our reality and all will be well. That is difficult when the wounds of the past are reopened time and time again and life and loves disappoint us...even worse when we disappoint ourselves.
"the weight and wait
for that simple moment,
that single spark
to feel alive" - I love how you use "weight" and "wait" here...it is a weight sometimes, perhaps always...the weight of waiting...wonderfully expressed!
I am just rambling on here as you have touched off some swirling of thoughts about life, loneliness, sadness, and hope for something that "sparks" into action. This is so good. I hope you know I always wish you well, and hope the smog will clear soon...very soon.

[Pax]

Dear Friend,

I'm always amaze on how you see my heat within the piece... you may call it ramblings but to me they are treasure to understand myself better... I do hope I'll be able to compile them, they're so few right now... i don't write often as i do before... still i cherish them, because they are my journey, my understanding about my life, and my wishes, hoping that someday, I'll achieved something, or finally finding my sparks...

thanks, always...
ever grateful,
to you...

@Pax

[Pax]

ps. love the new pic, you eyes shines beautifully...

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

I believe you will find what you seek. Best always, my friend!

[Jimmy Yetts]

A work of quality stunningly expressed.
Impressive, Pax!

[FJ Davis]

Skillfully and perceptively conveyed.
A very fine piece of work!

[Cole Hayley]

glad to be back my friend,
happy to see you haven't lost your talent.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

[Pax]

Good to have you back my friend....thank you, 👦

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

sometimes feeling alive is much better when waiting for it, instead of forcing for it to happen...very believable words here

[Pax]

Thanks, my friend. ...

[MOON]

Poignant and descriptive , we all know the feeling so well. You captured it so well in all its nuances. Lovely write as usual.

[Pax]

Thank you, moon,..,

[captain]

I am familiar with this feelings.

[Pax]

Thank you Captain....

[Weeping willow]

Wonderful feelings flow through this,though they are sad,I can relate to these emotional thoughts;-

[Pax]

Thank you, much, my friend....

[An owl on the moon]

I relate too well to your journey here, these ashen places of isolation. Powerful reflective words. We too often wander through these dark, lonely places. Learning to try and find the light on the other side, so I find my way home. One day.

[Pax]

Thanks, my friend... you say it too well and understand it too... the ashen places of isolation, too sad to be here for too long.... we'll find our way home, one day, someday.... :)

[Lydia Shutter]

So many senior citizens are lonely. They are forgotten by family and friends have moved away or passed on. They still breath, but are they still really alive? They have no joie de vivre. Well written. Lydi**

[Pax]

Thank you my friend.