ashen smog

ashen smog

A Poem by Pax
"

----------

"


loneliness has defined

this old soul.
Bittersweet melody
has tuned my way of 
living.

I don't know how much 
my heart could stand
the weight and wait
for that simple moment,
that single spark
to feel alive
and stop breathing
the ashen smog of reality.

© 2016 Pax



Author's Note

Pax
Credits to the photo: smog-free-project-6

"from ashen gray to ashen fields
comes, ashen smog...

do they care if I'm loved?

perhaps I'm too comfortable on my
own space and too confined to be bothered."

thank you for reading,
me...

someday, when i know i've done right
and okay, I'll compile this into a book called:
ashen...

My Review

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Featured Review

As your note mentions, I hope you do indeed do a book about your journey. I recall you were one of my first friends here and it has been amazing to read your heart and have insight into your struggles.
Reality...now there's a word...concept...conundrum. I've heard it said that perception is reality...I am not even sure I understand that! With a heart as gentle and perceptive as yours, it would be difficult for you to live in denial of what is. Perhaps, as some say, we must just adjust our way of viewing our reality and all will be well. That is difficult when the wounds of the past are reopened time and time again and life and loves disappoint us...even worse when we disappoint ourselves.
"the weight and wait
for that simple moment,
that single spark
to feel alive" - I love how you use "weight" and "wait" here...it is a weight sometimes, perhaps always...the weight of waiting...wonderfully expressed!
I am just rambling on here as you have touched off some swirling of thoughts about life, loneliness, sadness, and hope for something that "sparks" into action. This is so good. I hope you know I always wish you well, and hope the smog will clear soon...very soon.

Posted 1 Year Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

Dear Friend,

I'm always amaze on how you see my heat within the piece... you may call.. read more
Pax

1 Year Ago

ps. love the new pic, you eyes shines beautifully...
Shimmerbliss/CAF

1 Year Ago

I believe you will find what you seek. Best always, my friend!



Reviews

sounds like a burnout that led to depression - with longing for the sun to shine again and breathe that new hope

steph

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

it is,Thank you, Kabayan... glad you understand the feeling...
highonwords

1 Year Ago

you're welcome, my friend

steph
Loneliness is a very difficult emotion to live with and to try to overcome. But I believe it's all in the ability to retune yourself so happiness can create a new melody. I feel the struggle and the sadness that resonates like musical vibrations in this writing Pax - you portray it vividly here.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

thank you, my friend... it is a recurring feeling i need to surpass, someday...i'll fine a tune that.. read more
heart felt words..a phrase like weigh and wait is perfectly judged.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

Thank you, Sir... I really appreciate your feedback...
Reality has a bit of a stench,
and we can only try to cleanse the air.

I want to see where you go with this.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

Thank you.... its been awhile, the feeling is still the same... the stench in the air is much harder.. read more
I do agree with dhaye.. Happiness comes from appreciation and contentment. Also, the more we delve or analyze loneliness the more that we feel unloved. But then again, life is not only a journey it is also a process of discovering and understanding what works best for us...

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

Hi Gab...
i guess, its been long, pabalik balik kasi yung feeling... and you're right, im sti.. read more
Some people are alone even when they are with someone. Elderly people feel more alone than anyone being they are so close to death and their husband or wife has passed away. It is a horrible feeling. I know it well. Your words convey that.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

thank you, my friend...I so understand that, even when i with a company of friends, still i feel so .. read more
As your note mentions, I hope you do indeed do a book about your journey. I recall you were one of my first friends here and it has been amazing to read your heart and have insight into your struggles.
Reality...now there's a word...concept...conundrum. I've heard it said that perception is reality...I am not even sure I understand that! With a heart as gentle and perceptive as yours, it would be difficult for you to live in denial of what is. Perhaps, as some say, we must just adjust our way of viewing our reality and all will be well. That is difficult when the wounds of the past are reopened time and time again and life and loves disappoint us...even worse when we disappoint ourselves.
"the weight and wait
for that simple moment,
that single spark
to feel alive" - I love how you use "weight" and "wait" here...it is a weight sometimes, perhaps always...the weight of waiting...wonderfully expressed!
I am just rambling on here as you have touched off some swirling of thoughts about life, loneliness, sadness, and hope for something that "sparks" into action. This is so good. I hope you know I always wish you well, and hope the smog will clear soon...very soon.

Posted 1 Year Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

Dear Friend,

I'm always amaze on how you see my heat within the piece... you may call.. read more
Pax

1 Year Ago

ps. love the new pic, you eyes shines beautifully...
Shimmerbliss/CAF

1 Year Ago

I believe you will find what you seek. Best always, my friend!
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
Pax, this is written in a way that touches, deeply. I pray for you that moment when life takes your breath away, my friend. I so understand this longing of dying to live. Amazing :)

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

Thank you, my friend... the longing doesn't fade if i can't find that spark, hoping for that someday.. read more
praying for that moment when life just takes our breath away...but we wait and wait ...really like the "weight and wait for that simple moment"
and the irony of feeling alive to stop breathing----

maybe some have found life in death---shaking off this mortal coil...to become one with nature...nature is so alive...
really got immersed in this write, Pax...

well done.

j.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

1 Year Ago

thanks, my friend...
you understand the feeling so well...

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946 Views
23 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on March 31, 2016
Last Updated on March 31, 2016
Tags: #love, #feelings, #life, #alive, #reality, #live, #spark, #smog, #confined, #ashen

Author

Pax
Pax

CDO - the city of golden friendship, Philippines



About
Dear Visitor Hello there! I am Willyam Pax from the Philippines and now residing here in Saudi Arabia for work. I am not a writer but a sensitive aspiring artist who expresses himself into .. more..

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