When can i ever feel that i matter?

When can i ever feel that i matter?

A Poem by Pax
"

......

"
Most of the day i slept
Or just in bed
Not minding the world 
Who doesn't seems to care
About me.

I drench my free time
On watching a world 
That doesn't exist,
A mere fantasy.

Well, atleast there
I can dream 
A good reality 
But still it isn't real.

I faced my everyday 
With a smile
Looking real enough 
To hide
All the confusion 
Behind all those
Facade i tried to cover up.

It didn't matter 
Whether i have a future 
To look up too
As long as i keep walking
Despite the dust and smug 
That blocks my way.

God has given me good things,
Yet this isn't what i want
Or atleats i thought it was...

Perhaps i made a wrong turn
A safer path.
Never having to risk
Many things.
A safe choice
For the good of
Everyone's expectations.

I mope around 
as my sadness flows..
Through my words
I spit them out.

When can i feel that i am
Important to someone,
When can i ever feel
That i
Matter...
?


© 2017 Pax



Author's Note

Pax
Its been awhile that i wrote something up, or quite this long. I was being content to the tidbits of my life i shared. Many had happened, i lost my dad last may 2016, i got to go home. Take care of things, spends some time with my sisters - the only treasure i can say i can still hold on into but it was too short, i got to tell them my struggle, that i dunno if they totally understand. I guess its my problem alone. Life is pretty damn confusing, i dunno what to do or what i really want. I guess i stop listening to my heart long ago and listen more to my brain...

I dunno why i still write like this, even though i know pretty well my problem is... i was the bird in a cage who never got to fly freely, too domesticated to even fly away on its own.

My Review

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Featured Review

Very emotional piece, pax. It was said that the meaning of life is find your gift and the purpose of life is to give it away. Do not despair. Perhaps, you are still in the process of dicovering your gift.There are some typo errors but it didn't lessen the depth of emotion.

Posted 1 Year Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

gabrielle

1 Year Ago

Lol. Deleted na. Kailangan ng data eh.
gabrielle

1 Year Ago

Fan girl kasi ako dati ng pokemon, doraemon before.. lol
Pax

1 Year Ago

haha, this makes me smile, my friends... hay... nakakatuwa mag reminisce ng past hilig natin noh... .. read more



Reviews

YOU matter....
Making those wrong turns teach us where NOT to go... Turn the other way, find another path, risk being out there in the world, and I promise my friend, you will see that YOU matter. Shine your light upon us and dazzle the world with PAX!

Posted 2 Months Ago


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*
That's the emotions you feel...depression gets the best of us...you need days like this to reflect and see where you can do better...what can you do in your control, to change a situation...and take the necessary steps to reach that goal...a wonderful emotive piece, Pax.

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

7 Months Ago

This one of those piece, that truly reflects my life....so thank you, my friend....
*

7 Months Ago

You are very welcome, Pax.
You matter, Pax, to God and yourself--as well as the many people who eagerly read your poetry.
Carry on, soldier, you have many victories yet to win!

Posted 7 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

7 Months Ago

I hope so too, poet friend... :) thank you...
I am sorry to hear about your loss Pax. That is the key - to keep walking or turning corners as I say because one day the sad flow turns into acceptance and clicks into place and we face the light again...nice to read you today Pax :)

Posted 9 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

9 Months Ago

Thanks, my friend...
Deep thoughts brother....sometimes we put our dreams out there...so high...so much we want to be, and achieve...but all we really need, is to know that we matter to someone.

Great write my friend

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pax

11 Months Ago

"sometimes we put our dreams out there...so high...so much we want to be, and achieve...but all we r.. read more
You matter and the bird will fly. Passionate write Pax.

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This just moved my heart. The title itself echoed the shrieks within me screaming in silence. The words speaking my own emotions, feelings and thoughts which keeps ravaging me with time.
I felt a sense of relief to read it- because I felt somehow, those eating thoughts have got out of me.
I feel you are a lot stronger and I need to learn some courage from you. Thanks a lot. Take care

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

woh, what a saga! Heartfelt work Pax! Written using your passionate form that you do so well!

Posted 11 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Safe choices and no taking chances life. Leave us wishing for more adventure and laughter.
"Many things.
A safe choice
For the good of
Everyone's expectations."
Many follow the above lines. Better to test life and have some fun. Thank you my friend for sharing your amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 12 Months Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Acceptance and worthiness is desired much but hardly found or given. Expectations are so manufactured to suit many opinions. We can and should make small or large choices that can affect our destiny but such as that is hard and have to be domesticated to our self and conditions. You write, dear brother, with calm effect and strong emotions. Keep sharing...:)................

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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16 Reviews
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Added on July 24, 2016
Last Updated on February 18, 2017
Tags: #Love, #life, #sadness, #alone

Author

Pax
Pax

CDO - the city of golden friendship, Philippines



About
Dear Visitor Hello there! I am Willyam Pax from the Philippines and now residing here in Saudi Arabia for work. I am not a writer but a sensitive aspiring artist who expresses himself into .. more..

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