Changing Linen

Ahhh, the trials and tribulations of the human condition. Broken hearts, hearts on the mend and reconciliation are all parts of everyday life. Good luck with it all, it's a full-time job.

I changed the linen

On our bed today

Been well over a year

Since her head rested

Beside me on her pillow

Lost in sleep there

Safe in a lover's dream

Of a tomorrow

That never came

 

I never slept the bed

Nor changed the sheets

Between her visits

Only putting on clean

Right before her arrival

The old held her scent

And my memories

Until her return and

New dreams could be made

 

Many lonely days spent

Lying on comforter there

Holding her pillow

To my breast and

Breathing in a trace

Of her essence

Smiling at the sound

Of her laughter

Ringing in my head

 

Was all I had

To get me through

As I waited for her

To fill my world anew

With easy smiles and

Tender kisses that warmed

Cool sheets again

With our love

 

It's over…

Done…

All gone…

 

She's not coming back

And my heart is broken

 

Her pillow holds

Only the smell

Of stale emptiness

As I shake it

From its case

And it falls

To the mattress

In silence

And dust

 

Pulling back the covers

I'm accosted by

Coiled dreams that

Lunge at me

Shove me to my knees

Bound over my shoulder

And escape through

The frozen pane of glass

Behind me.

 

A new emptiness

Fills the room

Displacing the air

My lungs burn for and

Need for living

It sucks the breath

From my body

Leaving me weak

And defeated

 

Three strands of

Of long, blond hair

Lie there separated

From her and me by

Passage of time and distance

The only proof

Her physical being

Ever laid there

Soft and warm beside me

 

It's over…

Done…

All gone…

 

She's not coming back

And my spirit is broken

 

On her monument shelf

In bookcase at end of couch

Small envelope holds

These precious strands

Beside a small ball of rags

Tied with her hands

And a little stuffed rabbit

With floppy ears, pink nose

And coal black eyes

 

Together we sit

In growing darkness

At end of the day

Glowing in soft firelight

Squinting in the dusk

Towards the road

Searching for a hint

Of her small red car

Turning up the drive

 

It's a comfort

To have them there

Within arm's reach

As night closes in

My hopes fade again

Neither black eyes nor blue

Find what they are seeking

Long night heralds in and waits

For what tomorrow brings

 

Winter is at top-dead-center

Coldest part of the year

Yet it cannot match

My heart's chill

For it's frozen solid

Blood as thick and dark

As axel grease

Craving warmth of Spring

And her hand in mine

 

It's over…

Done…

All gone…

 

She's not coming back

And my world is broken

 

As new day dawns

And Spring approaches

All I have are dreams

Of a better day ahead

When we walk together again

In new fields of happiness

My resolution grows strong

There is only one answer

To solve this quandry

 

This must be over…

Done…

All gone…

 

If she's not coming back

Then I will go to her

 

And till hard scars

I left on her heart

Until they are soft and warm

Plant new seeds of love there

And nurture them

With tender care

Through the growing season

For a bountiful harvest of happiness

Enough to last us a lifetime together

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Wow! This was tender , sad and heartbreaking; beautifully written my friend!