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Broken


A Poem by Blake<3

 I lay there.

Tears rolling down my face.

I thought you loved me.

I actually believed you.

What a fool.

So now I'll just wait.

While I'm completely lost.

Waiting for that one guy

 that will pick up 

the pieces 

And put my heart back together.


© 2009 Blake<3
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Featured Review

Nice, I like the lines: "So now I'll just wait./While I'm completely lost."

The line "Waiting for that one guy that will pick up the pieces of my broken heart." is really long in comparison to the rest of your poem, you might want to consider breaking it up. perhaps:
"Waiting for that one guy that will pick up/the pieces of my broken heart." OR
"Waiting for that one guy/ who will pick up the pieces (/) of my broken heart."
I'm not sure, I suggest you play around with it and you decide where to add a break, if you want to add one at all. Good luck with your piece I hope that you are happy with it.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago

3 of 3 people found this review constructive.





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