[She]

He felt her pulse in the darkness
The sweet mystery of
How her eyes might look upon opening his
Like the security of her voice
On the other line of a telephone
Their conversations are written by Shakespeare
She speaks that of a goddess
And he of stars
Holding her hands to his lips
He sinks into her gaze
A stare that could lead him
Straight into the gates of
Absolute bliss
All of this occurring
Within a matter of minutes
This moment so short
Yet it lingers in his mind for ages
A heart which pounds at the thought
Of these two souls at peace

Reviews

[Emily B]

excellent work. Artfully dark . . . I'm glad I was invited here.

[BlueDreams]

Very moving piece of romantic poetry.. Greatly done :)

[Tyler Trelease]

Much appreciate it!

[BlueDreams]

My pleasure :)

[Mina]

Woww this is soo fascinating
I lovee the two lined the most:)

[Tyler Trelease]

Thank you.

[stars are far]

that was soo romantic ..
I like this piece a lot :)
Keep it up :D

[Riding the Rainbow]

Very romantic and full of love..fusion of two sous..well done..

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

very beautiful write so romantic and sweet. Creative write enjoyed reading it :)

[Luke L]

Lovely piece great write man. I have a more guttural version of this in my memory banks :p.

[Tyler Trelease]

I know the feeling, thank you though!

[Luke L]

no worries, dude

[SteveB]

Nicely done tale of young optomistic love. The simile of a secure voice on the telphone was fresh and nicely done.
One small thing tripped me up a bit however and I am interested in your thought process. After saying the conversations written by Shakespeare the next two lines caused me to stumble when I read the poem aloud. The choice of wording for those next two lines interests me and if you don't mind could you explain the decision to me.

By the way, I really liked the "straight to the gates of absolute bliss" line. The line break was perfect as it led to a pleasant surprise with "absolute bliss".
I am glad Lori sent me a RR for this one.

[Tyler Trelease]

Great review, thank you. My thought process in those two lines and before them focused on speech. Now Shakespeare could be considered the most talented romantic (and non-romantic) poets of all time, so describing these two characters conversations as being written by Shakespeare is be a nice touch. Along with this, the following lines note Shakespeare in a few ways. The lines do connect with each other, if that's what you're asking. "She speaks that of a goddess," could mean two things; Shakespeare's constant reference to gods and goddesses, or the woman speaking so perfectly that she can only be considered a goddess. The male in the poem speaks of stars. Another reference to Shakespeare but with astrology/astronomy. It could also mean he speaks of far out ideas. He has vast dreams.
Thank you again!

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is an enchanting write, Tyler. A true love story told with beautiful imagery...

Their conversations are written by Shakespeare
She speaks that of a goddess
And he of stars

Beautiful images and shows the dichotomy of their relationship. I also like this:

He sinks into her gaze

A wonderful and unique metaphor. Wonderful write.

[Tyler Trelease]

Thank you, much appreciated.

[Ravyne Hawke]

You are most welcomed. I am glad to see some traffic came your way via my read request.

[Tyler Trelease]

I know it's fantastic! Thank you so much.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Anytime, Tyler =)