What am I taking with me?

What am I taking with me?

A Poem by Amrita

What am I taking with me?

Beauty of nature..
Calmness of mighty mountains..
Hustle in silence of woods..
Hopes in sunset and sunrise..
Sparkling of stars in dark night..
Freshness of a gentle breeze in my soul..
Peace in valleys in admist of hills...
Contentment in simplicity in lush of trees..
Change is constant like crawling clouds..
Companionship of soul in isolation..

© 2017 Amrita



Author's Note

Amrita
This composition is inspired from nature.I went to a hill station for vacations and I felt so connected to nature.I discovered so much about myself. I hope you guys will like this composition.
This is not exactly a poem.

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Reviews

You definitely have a poetic eye.
You have that original way of saying big things in the simplest, deep and touching way.

But for truth's sake, I must point out that I noticed a small grammatical error in the 8th line:
'Peace in valleys in amidst of hills'
The correct way should be:
'Peace in valleys in the midst of hills'.
Or, if you wish, you could say:
'Peace in valleys amidst hills'.

The reason is because we are AMIDST something or
IN THE MIDST of something.

We all can learn from each other.
As writer we read each other's work, praise or constructively criticise, with good intentions to become good at our art.

Waheguru Jika Khalsa, Waheguru Jiki Fatay

Posted 1 Month Ago


Amrita

1 Month Ago

Wow! You know Punjabi..
I totally agree with my grammatical error and will surely edit this.<.. read more
I think this is a beautiful write, one which really takes the reader away on feeling connected to nature. Nice visuals you give here.

However, I felt a slight error in this line here:
'Peace in valleys in admist of hills...'

I think it should be:
'Peace in valleys amidst hills'
as the rest of the words are redundant.

Beautiful flow. I enjoyed the read. :)

P.S I hope you don't mind my pointing that out...

Posted 2 Months Ago


Amrita

2 Months Ago

Its my privilege for your kind feedback.Thank you so much! :)
Dr YumnaKay

2 Months Ago

You're welcome :)
This is every bit a poem. Please do not restrict yourself by thinking any poem has to be a certain form. Your words are lyrical & your list of fondnesses is well done with good vivid ideas & bright imagery. These are also my very favorite friends in life -- nature -- so much more satisfying than humans, often! *smile* Fondly, Margie

Posted 2 Months Ago


Amrita

2 Months Ago

Your kind words make my day :) Thank you sooo much . I am honored :)
Beautiful description, makes me want to go somewhere like that. I really like this.

Posted 3 Months Ago


Amrita

3 Months Ago

Thank you so much Avia :)
Avia

3 Months Ago

You're welcome :)

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Added on November 16, 2017
Last Updated on November 16, 2017

Author

Amrita
Amrita

New Delhi, India



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