A Last Memory

just lost a friend to suicide due to him being gay. I decide to make this little story in memory of him, because even when he was depressed and hurting it never showed, he was always happy.

   I walk down the halls of westford high, head held high ignoring the many taught and jeers that followed me where ever I go, or so I make it seem, but no matter how hard I try I cant get rid of the lingering feeling the hurtful comments leave. Ever since I came out as being gay, people have looked at me different. Some of my best friends turned against me, joining in to the continuous sneers. 

   I walked up to Sam who waited at the corner of the hall. As I stopped, a tall blonde jock walked passed us and turned and yelled "F*g!" Sam flicked him off and let out a long stand of curse words. After she finished she turned back to me and smiled. "Hows it going?" She asked as if nothing happened. I shook my head and gave her a big smile. "Thanks, I'm good, but you know you don't have to stick up for me, I don't let it bother me anyways."

   "Ah don't sweat it, that's what friends are for right?" She said with a laugh.
"Right." I said quietly. I always felt bad that Sam stuck by me. because she was one of my few friends that stayed by me, she also got antagonized constantly. I often felt like more trouble than I'm worth. We walked to lunch, where my other five friends were waiting at our table. James and Sarah were fighting over a banana that Mathew gave them. When they saw us walk up, they stopped fighting and ran over and hugged us.

   As we sat down at the table, Sarah sitting on the edge of the table, Sam spoke. "Guess who I punched earlier?"

   Sarah looked up, attentive. "Who?" 

   Sam smiled evilly. "Derek!"

   James raised an eyebrow. "Why now?" He asked.

   Sam scoffed "Cuz he thought he was cool and said that no gay fagots like max should exist. So I took it upon myself to put him in his place. I almost got written up, but when I explained why I punched him, the dean let me go with a warning and three days detention!" She said proudly. Sarah snorted and James rolled his eyes, Mathew just looked at her like she was crazy. I frowned and shook my head.

   "What?" Sam asked me.

   "You shouldn't have done that, now you have detention because of me." I said.

   "so? now I can shoot spit balls at Mrs. Urbania, when I'm supposed to be doing work, though I doubt she'll catch me seeing as how blind she is."

   I shook my head. I love my friends but I just wished I didn't put them through so much trouble, ever since my parents threw me out, disowning me, they were all I had, and I always felt like a burden. but not for much longer, you'll be gone soon, they wont have to worry anymore. i thought silently, and a wave of sadness swept over me at the thought of what i was going to do. i shook my head, clearing the thoughts. i had to stay happy, for them, even if this was the last time i get to see them.

after lunch we went back to class, and the day pasted as normal. but even though nothing was different from every other day, i felt like something had changed. the air felt more thin and it felt as if a heavy weight rested on my chest. of course it was all in my head, it was just my guilt building up. as last period drew to a close and the bell rang, i slowly walked down the bright white halls, dragging my thin fingers along the cold brick walls. i met my friends at my truck, and they each gave me a hug and said they would see me tomorrow, if only they knew. tears stung my eyes as i said goodbye and thanked them, for the last time. though they didn't realize at the time, i wasn't just thanking them for supporting me, i was thanking them for setting me free.
as i drove away, i took a glance back at the faded red building of my school where my best friends now stood laughing and talking like everything was okay. and it will. i thought to myself as the school disappeared behind me. so many memory's had been made they, but i was also hurt so much in that same building. that's all over now, im going to be okay. i sighed and looked back at the road.
a few minutes later i pulled into the driveway of my old trailer, and without turning off the truck, i went inside. in the back of my bedroom, surrounded by a  curtain, an area reserved for hanging my cloths stood, the curtains drawn back. hanging from the rod attached to the roof was a necklace of thick brown rope, and on the ground below it, sat a stool. i stood on the stool and slipped on the noose and smiled slightly as tears slid down my cheeks and images of my friends i was leaving behind flashed before my eyes. this is going to hurt them, but its better off this way. i think as i step of of the stool, cutting off my air as the rope tightens around my neck, and my life slips away.

Author's Note

this story is more to show what other people can do just by what they say, and also your friends can make your life, no matter how short. my friend titus was disowned by his family and was constantly under stress. every time he went to school people taunted him. but he never showed the pain, he always seemed happy, so when he committed suicide, it was a complete shock, we never saw it coming. i just wish and hope he knew how much we cared and how much we still care, and miss him. even though hes dead now, and hopefully in a better place, i hope to let his memory live on through this story.

Reviews

[briget_01]

First I just want to thank you for writing something like this. Although I can't say that I've personally experienced some of stuff the character has going on, I could still relate to his feelings. You made the writing come to life. I can tell you are passionate about this topic, and it shows because of the detail and heart you put into this story. I'm sorry your friend had to endure such pain, but I think writing like this may help future people in sucky situations. Although I always wish for a better outcome, that's not always the case. Thank you for your realism and your words.

Cheers

[nastassia]

This piece is very well written. I know people that have been this character you speak of in the story and the way you write the story is such detail which is always important because it creates such imagery in the readers mind. Keep doing what you are doing because its great

[Ashley Arita]

I really like the emotion in the story. It really gives it feeling. There are minor grammar corrections, but can easily be ignored. I feel very sorry for your friend, and I know he's in a better place.

[cassandra ziemba]

i hope he is, and thank you, im not finished with it quite yet so ill fix the grammar. thank you for your review

[Ashley Arita]

Your welcome!