War for Peace

Inspired in my English class when going over the novel "Heart of Darkness"

War for Peace

An abstruse haze
A perpetual night
Ancient winds murmur informal ideals

Encasing desolation in a cellophane carton
A paralyzed force of a rush of color
A bleak actuality of a deep alabaster truth  

Violent stuffed souls
So frigid and sterile
A paradoxed life of war for peace

 

Author's Note

Comments are always appriciated. Poetry isnt my strong suit so im trying to work hard to improve it.

Reviews

[Don Coorough]

I agree with The Black Seal. This is the best of your poems I have read. Every word, every pause, every image stands on its own and yet, strung together, there lives a tremendous evocation of emotion. Beautiful! - EllisD

[THE BLACK SEAL]

i think this one is my fave so far. it is library material thx

[Mike L. Smyth]

you say in your author notes that you are not strong in the poetry field...well i beg to differ. your combination of worlds and subjects are ...well almost perfect.

[A.r. Bazian]

the diction reflects certain language strength points!
you're poetry is nice... this one is great somehow!
i like the theme!
you're at your best when you write about Causes and Feelings... am i not right?
anyway... weather i am or not!
this is a nicely written poem!

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

I love that you use words that I do not see very often. It expands my own vocabulary. Words that I know but do not use or think of to use. Thank you for that.
You have a unique style with your poetry. If you really mean what you say and want suggestions on how to improve in the poetic way, I would try some different styles out for a change. Grow yourself in form. You have the words down. Try some different forms of poetry. You would be very good at haiku or sonru poetry. It is short and sweet and with the imagery your words create you can say a lot with very few words which is a talent.
I personally would love to see some rhyming poetry from you because I love a good rhyme. I know that is not your style but if you force your self to learn it and use it a little, you will probably find that when you go back to your style, you will have better rythm and flow than before.
That is the only thing that I notice that is missing from your potry sometimes is the flow.
It isn't bad. It just isn't excellent and when I read poetry that is something that always gets me that I love. When a poem just flows like a river and before you know it, you have dove down into their words and become one with their story, it is refreshing.
You have that potential easily.
I hope that you do not take my words as too harsh. I do not mean them that way. I know that I am a rhymer in form but if you notice I try a lot of different forms too. It is very hard for me to write poetry that is more free-form but I think that it helps me expand as a poet when I put forth the effort.
Thanks again for sharing.
Love your stuff!
Love All, Mejasha

[The Elder Pine]

And you my fair lady would be your own worst critic. This is absolutely wonderful, some really terrific images and ideas and a strong venomous message, Brilliant-truly wonderful writing.

[Sorrow The Dark]

great write, its flows well and it provides great imagery i love it keep it up, if your poetry is like this now and its not your strong suit, then when you do improve it will be above awesome.

[An owl on the moon]

Brief and Brilliant. You say so much about war, and loss, and desolation in so succinct a way. Your last line is so full of the paradox of war (fighting and killing so there can be peace and life).