A stoic kind of love

A Stoic Kind of Love

 

The pertinent appearance
Solid, metallic, and cold
The eyes so dehydrated
Shadows swim in the empty depths

My words separate and chopped in the hollow vacuum
A love once so vivid now so fleeting
The sheets once tangled
Now lay wasted like stone

Lilacs and warmth, a scent so familiar
Cling to the pillows
Dainty and fading.

 

Reviews

[X]

aww.
i really like it.
that was adorable.
but it's also quite sad.
i'm guessing that you were with someone and thought it was love and then everything ended?
sad story.
but i hope that you write more work.
you're a good poet.
=]]
love it.
nice job.
monica.

[Annie]

aside from the fact that you know how easily i cry over things, this made me want to cry. not in a "it weas horrible way" but more of you made me see the world through your eyes for even just this breif moment in time. i love the way you use words, like a paintbrush is to an artist, to show people what you feel rather than just telling them. you have a lovely talent, my dear, of taking people inside your mind so that we can all feel your imagination and emotions at any given point of time that you so choose to share with us.

[Wondering Mind]

Sad but, excellent imagery. Your writing talent is more than a pleasure to read.

[woodennymph]

my heart actually broke in that one...it's real sad and i can totally relate to it...i love how you used symbols to present the loneliness and the sadness and how it seems that she is clinging to every last drop of memory she could of the love she lost...great work, i loved it!:) -kim

[April Child]

Lilacs and warmth, a scent so familiar
Cling to the pillows
Dainty and fading

Sad. Love fades and dies and all we can do is watch it and let it go, clinging on is more painful in the end.
You capture it delicately.

[THE BLACK SEAL]

very romantic

[Y.F.]

So much pain in this one.
My favorite part:
"The eyes so dehydrated
Shadows swim in the empty depths".
Fantastic imagery!!!
I've enjoyed every second of reading, feeling very sympathetic.
If it's true - hang in there, if it's not - you've fooled me. :)

[Catrinka]

nice piece of work here! Poignant, it speaks to me of a love that is to stubborn to die, but is also not quite alive - KUDOS!

[flaneur]

The things that linger when someone leaves... I added this to my favorites.

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

Wow! your word use and imagery are really unique and brilliant.
Good job.
Love All, Mejasha

[JC Fox]

This was another great piece, very soft spoken and sad at the same time.