Kid Like Envy

Kid-Like Envy

 

Secret Embraces
A pain so wrenching

Haunted with images of her

The blondeness of her hair so illuminating

Her face so entrapping

 

Eyes like crystalique spheres,

So glossy and brilliant

 

Dark green envy twines in the brownness that peers out of my eyes

 

Her limbs encase you

Her friction replaces the marks I left along your skin

 

You twirl in a delicate dance

Carnal and passionate

 

Does my face shine out to you?

As you paint her face with your fingertips

 

Does my sinful raven hair darken the golden beauty that draws you?

 

Forgotten, the things we swore we’d mend

Alone, I go green, envy drowning me in it’s wretched head

 

Author's Note

Reviews are always appriciated!! Poetry isnt my strong suit so im working hard to improve it!!

Reviews

[Taylor H]

this is really good

[poet2angels (lynda)]

beautifully written! The green of envy so beautifully penned here
Great emotion in every line...
TY for entering!

Lynda

[Jessica Fox]

This was an interesting poem, one could feel the envy in the words and almost reminded me of something that was written long ago.

[Dawn]

I really like the play on colors. Good word choice and excellent description of the subject matter. It really packs a punch.

[Brianna Brie]

Super power!! This is an awesome piece. The longing to be the only one and the comparison between the two woman impeccably done. Just wonderful.

[Gin Tsubasa]

Great write. I really liked these lines in particular:
"Does my face shine out to you?/As you paint her face with your fingertips" and
"Her limbs encase you/Her friction replaces the marks I left along your skin"
:)

[An owl on the moon]

I forgot how much I love the richness and power of your writing! So sorry I have not been by more! This is just so awesome in your imagery of darkness and light, love and loss. A magnificent story-poem, relating so emotionally to love gone cold (at least in one person's soul perhaps). Truly amazing...

[Gin Tsubasa]

I think you should edit your first two lines... they could be stronger.
You put pears.. i laughed at that at first. my apologies.
Also, I really like this line... "Her friction replaces the marks I left along your skin"

Your poetry is stellar. :D

[Jane Doe]

This is simply wonderful. You write poetry very well, I think. This piece is so descriptive, so vivid, so powerful. Great write!

[-!katie!-]

this is really good!
I like it a lot.
good work!
very very well written (: